Starring:  Bad Popsicle, Leathergirl, Furrgirl, and their objects of devotion and worship
 
 

Scene 1:  Bad Popsicle's Lair Bad Popsicle: Ladies, gather 'round. We have a crisis on our hands! Leathergirl: Damn right we do!  What is this blasphemy?! Do they think they can get away with this? Well we got news for them, because we won't stand for it!  Furrgirl: *rushes in out of breath*  What? What is it? Has Sigmund been kidnapped again? Have all the popsicles been stolen? Is Richard's popsicle shrinking? Bad Popsicle: No, no, and well... we don't know about Richard's popsicle. *shudders* Leathergirl: No Furrgirl, it's MUCH worse than all those things combined! It's... It's...*bursts into tears* Furrgirl: *rushes over and comforts Leathergirl* There, there... you'll be alright. Bad Popsicle, what's going on?  Bad Popsicle: Well, it's just that our objects of love and devotion aren't getting enough sex! I mean, look at the past few Anita books! Has JC been getting ANY popsicle action? No! And did you read "Hard Eight?" What was up with THAT? Our hot, gorgeous Ranger gets only a four-paragraph sex scene!? And I have to say Doyle's sex scene was a  total let-down! We just expect more! Don't you agree, Furrgirl?  Furrgirl: Of course! And I wouldn't mind seeing my sweetie-pie Richie getting a few more horizontal scenes myeslf!  Leathergirl: Blech! Anything but that! ... But anyway, what can we do?  Bad Popsicle: Well there's only one way to solve this problem!  Furrgirl: What's that?  Bad Popsicle: We have to bring all of them HERE and make them bathe in "SeXy JuIcE," this new formula I created in my lab! One bath, and poof! Instant Sexiness! No woman will be able to resist them THEN.  Leathergirl: But how are we going to get them all here?  Bad Popsicle: Trust me! I have a foolproof plan....

Scene 2:  JC's Place *JC is trying on his new purple suede pants (which of course fit him like a glove and display his fabulously toned and sculpted buttocks) when he hears a knock on his door. He runs -- glides quickly, gracefully, and sexily -- to the door and opens it*< JC: Who are you?  Bad Popsicle: Pizza delivery!  JC: Yum! Wait... I don't eat pizza... you look yummy though! Bad Popsicle: Go Leathergirl, go!  *Leathergirl runs out with a stun gun and zaps JC into unconciousness* Leathergirl: Oh man, I feel so bad about doing this to our beautiful sex god! Although he does look kinda cute when he's sleeping... are you sure he's ok? He's not breathing! *starts hyperventillating* Furrgirl: You dork! He's dead, get it? He's cold, dead, and a monster! Nothing but a pale, white, weak, pathetic little monst--  *Bad Popsicle zaps Furrgirl with the stun gun*  Bad Popsicle: No one says that stuff about my JC! C'mon Leathergirl, help me get these two into the Popsiclemobile. Next stop, the Bat Cave for Ranger!

Continue to Part 2
Back to the Fanfic Page