By BOB THOMPSON
Toronto Sun
Allen, of course, knows first-hand about celebrity, since he is one. He was a famous celebrity before he became the close personal companion of Mia Farrow's step-daughter. Now he is an infamous celebrity. No apology from Allen in Celebrity, however. What Allen's film, Celebrity, seems to address is the general theme of wanting, having or being consumed by fame. His black-and-white take is simple in the comedy, which opens Nov. 20 in black-and-white, not colour. The Woody Allen lessons go like this. Those who blindly pursue celebrity are lesser for it. Some who have it are deranged by it, and others get it when they don't even know what it is.
Allen tells this American tale through the anxious eyes of a Manhattan-based showbiz magazine writer (Kenneth Branagh) and his ex-wife (Judy Davis). The writer wants celebrity. The wife isn't sure what she wants, except custody of her own neurosis. To say that Branagh is sort of playing Allen would be too simplistic but accurate. Others showcased in Allen's set piece include Leonardo Di Caprio as, ironically, a famous actor who re-creates the Johnny Depp hotel trashing incident. Charlize Theron portrays a famous model, and Famke Janssen is a not-so-famous book publisher. Bebe Neuwirth and Joe Mantegna have smaller roles. Neuwirth is a hooker. Mantegna plays a TV producer.
To promote Celebrity, some of these celebrities have gathered at a Manhattan hotel to talk about it -- being famous. Naturally, they end up talking about themselves. They are, after all, celebrities. Allen has already said his bit with his black-and-white movie. So here's some considered opinions on celebrity, from those who made themselves available.
TAKE ONE
Kenneth Branagh, perhaps coloured by his messy, and public, marriage break-up with Emma Thompson: "Oh it's tough. I think I have a very particular understanding of celebrity. "The appetite and curiosity for private lives is intense. And there are lots of outlets. Suddenly, I feel I must be more careful for nobody draws the line in the sand. "In my case I'm more than happy to talk about the work that I do, but any issue of celebrity that has to do with being famous seems to mean more than that."
TAKE TWO
Famke Janssen, famous model from Holland who's becoming a famous actress: "The Dutch don't like anybody to think they are too important. They recognize famous people, but they will pretend not to notice, so the person won't think it is special. Americans are so fixated with celebrity."
TAKE THREE
Charlize Theron, famous model from South Africa who is becoming a famous actress: "It trips me out. When I'm walking through the airport, it's weird to have somebody come up to me like it matters. Or I get letters from young girls who say, 'You changed my life.' "Like, I say, 'Go to the zoo.' "It's very flattering, but it's not something that gets me out of bed, and makes me go to work."
TAKE FOUR
Bebe Neuwirth, the Lilith co-star on Cheers who has been through two divorces and is hounded occasionally by media trash talk: "The publicity surrounding celebrities contains a certain loss of decency. I'm talking about asking too many inappropriate questions of people's lives. The hyper-criticism of people is insatiable. "I really don't know what ground zero is. Maybe we're about to find out."
TAKE FIVE
Branagh again: "I think Lady Diana before her death was revealing. The latest Clinton sex thing is too. These things become the central issues in our lives. "What is sometimes an uncomfortable level of intrusion by the media can become harassment. But the good news is that it is a state of mind that is fundamentally transient. "But did I really have to hear about Mr. Clinton and his activities? It was too much."
TAKE SIX
Janssen again: "American celebrity culture is ridiculous. And I think it's sad when I look at kids growing up in this country. "Rock stars and movie stars are the idols. Everbody wants to be a screenwriter or a director or something that's going to bring them fame. "It's funny, but after a while, you wonder who is going to operate on Americans when they are sick. "Who is going to want to be a doctor anymore? Everybody just wants to play the doctor on ER."
TAKE SEVEN
Joe Mantegna, the basic theatre and movie actor, specializing in craft not art: "We are all pawns in the game."
THE WOODY ALLEN CELEBRITY FILE
A PLAYER: Would rather play clarinet than pick up his Oscars on Oscar night. He's been nominated six times for best director, won for Annie Hall. He's been nominated 13 times for best screenplay and won for Annie Hall and Hannah And Her Sisters. Allen was nominated once for best actor -- in Annie Hall. And his movies have been nominated twice for best picture; he won for Annie Hall.