Chicks and Chookilations

One time when I was on the Enterprise board at StarTrek.com, I started wondering...

Does the NX-01 have an arboretum?!
Does it have anything like that at all?!
Does it even have any living plants?!

My guess is that it does, because if Chef uses real food in his cooking, not reconstituted or resequenced-protein ingredients, then there must be a veggie patch or something SOMEWHERE on the ship...and we've seen both Trip and Travis mention that he uses REAL food in his cooking.

They must have a darn good freezer to keep the meat in though....they don't exactly have room for a herd of cattle or sheep or anything in terms of livestock for their meat supply. Could you imagine it.....cattle and sheep and pigs and poultry roaming the ship....oh, that'd be a laugh and a half....

Season 2, Episode 12: Chicks and Chookilations.

*The NX-01 Bridge - main cast all at work stations, except Trip, who now enters, looking flustered...*
Trip: Uh, Captain, we have a problem...
Archer: What is it Trip?
Trip: Uh, there's a chook flying around in the engine room sir...
T'Pol: A what, Mr Tucker?
Trip: A chook, a hen, a chicken - you know, a bird that lays eggs...
T'Pol: Poultry?
*turning her nose up at the thought of something so dirty in a room normally so clean*
Trip: Yeah.
T'Pol: How did a bird get in the engine room, Mr Tucker?
Archer: Yeah, Trip, how'd the bird get in there this time?
T'Pol: This time, Captain?
Archer: Yeah, one of the darn things got in there somehow when we were loading them all onto the ark...
*T'Pol faints at the thought of an ANIMAL in the engine room prior to her arrival as 2nd in charge*
Trip: So what are we gonna do Cap?
Archer: About what, the chook, or the chick?!
Trip: You deal with the chook, I'll get the chick sir...she's ALL mine...
*Trip puts T'Pol over his shoulders in a fireman's carry, and carts her off to her quarters, as Archer heads for the engine room...*

*NEXT SCENE - T'Pol's quarters, T'Pol laying on the bed, semi-conscious, Trip sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her intently...T'Pol stirs*
Trip: T'Pol...
T'Pol: Wha?! Where am I?! What happened?!
Trip: You're in your quarters...you passed out on the bridge when the Cap told you the chooks had got into the engine room before today...
T'Pol: Ugh...animals...
Trip: In case you didn't notice, we're animals too...
T'Pol: Excuse me?
Trip: You're the science officer....ya know, Vulcans and Humans are both from the Kingdom Animalia.
T'Pol: Oh. For a second there I thought you were trying to imply something Mr Tucker.
Trip: What, that as animals it's natural to have certain urges?!
T'Pol (glint in her eye): Yes, Mr Tucker. Like the distinct urge to tear you limb from limb when you act like you are right now.
Trip: Oh, I heard about that Pon farr thingy you Vulcans go through....see ya...
*Trip bolts for the door*

*NEXT SCENE - Engine room, everyone except Trip and T'Pol (who aren't present) running around like chooks with their heads chopped off - trying to catch the chook*
*The chicken dance would be appropriate background music for this scene*
Archer: Darn it, where's Trip when you need him?
Reed: I wonder what it would look like if we shot the chook out...
Mayweather: You know, one time on the freight run between...
Hoshi: Cluck cluck bwark bwark bwark bwark cluck cluck...
Phlox: Hmm, I would love to do a medical diagnostic on a chook, never done that before...
Archer: Dammit, Trip...
Reed: I wonder how far it would splatter?
Mayweather: ...we had this chook get loose in my parents quarters...
Hoshi: Cheep cheep bwark cluck bwark...
Phlox: Never done a diagnostic on any Earth poultry actually...
Archer: *raises commlink* Archer to Trip
Trip (over speakers): Yes Cap?
Archer: We could use a little help down here...
Trip: Ah, I'm a little busy right now Cap
*sounds of something crashing in T'Pol's quarters*
Archer: What's going on there buddy?
T'Pol: (some completely incomprehensible Vulcan)
Archer: Trip, are you ok?
Trip: Ever heard of Pon farr sir?!
Archer: Uh....I think so, isn't that when the Vulcan sex drive kicks in?
Trip: Well, kicks in is about right sir...it's kinda painful...
Archer: Oh?! So T'Pol is ok then?
Trip: Well, she's conscious if that's what you mean, but I wouldn't say that she's ok...
Archer: Ah, you know you love it!! Good work Commander!! Archer out. *Closes commlink*

*NEXT SCENE - Bridge - T'Pol looking very happy, Trip battered and bruised, Archer and others scratched and pooped on - T'Pol is the only cheerful person on the bridge*
Archer: Well, we finally got the chook...
Reed: Can I blow it out the ship now sir?!
Phlox: Not till I dissect it, Mr Reed!
Hoshi: Bwark bwark cluck....oh, sorry sir....
Mayweather: You know, one time on the freight run between...
Reed: You told that one already.
Mayweather: But you didn't let me finish...
Reed: We've heard them all Travis.
Mayweather: Oh...
Archer: Ok, guys, settle. What happened to you Trip, you look worse than we do...
Trip: You don't wanna know Cap...
Archer: Ah, I see....personal...ok, you can tell me over dinner...
T'Pol: Not likely sir, Mr Tucker and I haven't finished dessert yet...
Trip: Oh God...
*Fade out to the closing theme.*

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