Tribute to Bob O'Niel
by Mildred Guichard (from the December 2002 "AlumNews" Newsletter of the Benjamin Franklin Alumni Association)
The following is from the eulogy for Bob "Coach" O'Niel delivered by Ms. Guichard. Ms. Guichard shared her thoughts with us for those who were unable to attend services for Coach O'Niel.
Bob's name won't be in the headlines today. He wasn't a war hero or professional superstar. But across the country, hundreds of hearts will be saddened and tears quickly shed as former students reflect on treasured experiences and the positive impact Bob had on their lives.
There isn�t enough time nor are there enough superlatives to adequately pay tribute to Bob. He truly was an inspiration � a man who always knew what his priorities should be and functioned accordingly. He possessed a most admirable value system to which he resolutely adhered regardless of consequences. He brought to every role he assumed � son, husband, father, friend, teacher, coach � maximum effort, total love, and commitment. For verification, one need only reflect on his performance and contributions during his years at Franklin � the main focus of this tribute. During his first year, Bob would often smiling say that Administration must have made a mistake when they assigned a dope like him to Franklin. He wondered why he every accepted the coaching job at Franklin, realizing the improbability of ever consistently fielding a winning team in a program with a required retention average of �B�.
Of all the poor decisions the system so often made, assigning Bob to Franklin was definitely not one of them. Instead, it had to be one of its very best. Bob and Franklin were a perfect fit. He was truly a rare gem of a coach, one that Franklin needed. Winning wasn�t all-important. He was just as concerned about the educational and personal development of his players. He never waited for teachers to inform him when students were negligent in their studies. He did his own checking and imposed his own discipline, always handling students as he would his children. Sure he wanted badly to win, and it was never easy to temporarily remove a player from a team, but he would do so to prevent a further decline in grades.
Bob never failed to challenge a school rule he thought somewhat unfair. But, when he wasn�t successful in effecting change, he unlike most coaches, never used the close relationship he enjoyed with students and parents to cause school problems. He was too professional for that. Bob was the hub around which all Franklin activities revolved. Everyone always seemed to need him � the principal, faculty, the cooks, custodian, students and parents. He was so selfless and, throughout the years, the most loyal and supportive of faculty members.
Bob was often sought out by parents of players. There were sad times too when he learned of the death of a student. Parents welcomed the assistance and comfort he gave them and have never forgotten what his presence and support meant in their time of grief.
When faculty morale appeared to be at its lowest because of policy changes imposed by the superintendent, Bob had a knack for making us laugh either by impersonation or a funny remark. He lifted our spirit and often, by daily example, taught us a very valuable lesson � acceptance was all about learning to deal with a distasteful situation we couldn�t change.
Bob was never a complainer. No one ever really knew when he was hurting physically or emotionally. AS a diabetic there had to have been days he didn�t feel well. But even when he returned to school after open-heart surgery, he functioned as though he had never had it. Even on the longest working days � those that began an hour before the regular school day with Driver�s Ed instruction and lasted until a game�s end, often after 9pm, he was never irritable or ill tempered.
After Bob retired he was sought after by many school principals. He refused many job offers. But the constant appeals for help by John Otis, his former player, who was then principal of NOCCA, led him to accept a part-time job there which he held for several years. He also devoted a great deal of time to the Senior Citizens� �Meals on Wheels� Program. After Carol�s death, he stated his own �Meals on Wheels� production. Several days during the week he cooked meals and desserts for family and friends who were homebound either because of illness or caretaker responsibilities. Until the very end, Bob never stopped trying tom make life better for family and friends.
Years ago, when his mother was asked how she was able to rear such a wonderful son, she would take no credit and said: �He was God�s gift to me.� We should add � �to us too.�
Bob would often show how fortunate he was to have such wonderful kids. Until the last six months we never fully realized how wonderful Pat, Nancy, Peggy, and Robin really are. They gave Bob all the love and support they possibly could. They made major sacrifices to be with him, at the same time , having to cope with job and family demands. No father we ever better cared for or more loved.
In 1904 when Bessie Anderson Stanley wrote her famous definition of success, she must have known a �Bob O�Niel.� It reads as follows:
�He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of Earth�s beauty or failed to express it; who has looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose lift was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.�
That was Bob!
Today is his graduation day with top honors for a life so wonderfully led � so purposeful, so contribution, so enriching.
8-14-02
Hello, class of '65--
Reunions seem to be in the air. In June your once crewcut and clean-shaven English teacher was in New Orleans for the 50th anniversary of the Nicholls High School class of '52. It was quite wonderful, except that we were all surprised to see so many old tpeople there. I knew I was 67 but remembered most of them pretty much as they looked at the prom. I had missed the 25th reunion, so this was my first chance to reclaim some important old friendships.
It was a joy to see so many of you in 1990 at your 25th. I believe that teachers get more pleasure from seeing their former students than the reverse because there's a surrogate parenthood in teaching. Or maybe it's just that your group was special because so many of you were in my class for two or three years, poor babies. And besides that, those were among the finest years of my family life, with kids #4 through 7 being born, including the twins--who just had their 20th high school reunion Champaign, Illinois.
My book on jazz in postwar New Orleans has received fine reviews and is doing well with jazz fans and lovers of New Orleans lore. I'm still in Montgomery, Ala., working on two other books--a collection of my late son Stephan's writings (he was very gifted but never published in his lifetime) and a poetry volume in collaboration with E-K Daufin, my performance colleague. In April we did a jazz and poetry program at Nicholls State U. in Thibodaux and last week we performed at a Miami teachers' convention. I turned the Miami gig into a family reunion tour, seeing kids and grands in Tallahassee, Orlando, Jupiter, and Miami. I've had a nibble for a program from the N.O. Jazz Historical Park and hope they can get a grant to bring us to town sometime.
I hope that you and your families are well and thriving.
Best,
Charlie Suhor
My thanks to Hanan Lemann for inviting me to post this note. Your class was a very special experience for me during some of the best years of my life. My kids were many, small, and delightful, and working with you was really exciting.
After a year's leave in '66-67 for graduate work at U. of Illinois, I applied for the job of English Supervisor for N.O. Public Schools. I knew I'd miss the classroom but found that working with English teachers in the late 60s/early 70s--a great time for change--was another enjoyable life experience. I helped to get paperbacks, contemporary and black literature, extensive composition teaching, more honors courses, etc., into English programs. I was still writing about jazz for DOWN BEAT and NEW ORLEANS but after 1970 my writing shifted--far too many education articles, several textbooks, a few poems. I continued drumming on weekends (still do) but had long ago lost the skills of my college jam-in-the-Quarter days.
In 1977 I was appointed Deputy Executive Director of National Council of Teachers of English in Urbana, Ill. Interesting work, smart people, better pay. The last was a factor. My family had grown to 11 kids--one in the Marines, six with me, and four with my ex-wife. The breakup after my Doctoral study at Florida State in 1974 had been no-fault, legally and literally, but the chaos of my kids' teen years was awful. I had always loved teaching teens but hadn't visualized domestic rebellion. We all got through those years, thanks to raw endurance, along with great step-mothering from 1980 on by my second wife, Deborah Little; our Unitarian minister, who had similar problems; and my discovery of Buddhist (vipassana) meditation. The grown-up kids have been my best friends, and each others', ever since.
By the 90s I was combining my interests by writing and speaking about jazz/language relationships (often with Ellis Marsalis), organizing a jazz & poetry performance group, doing a student jazz/poetry project at NCTE, etc. I started noticing that I'm getting older, my jazz youth has became history, and people who weren't there are writing nonsense about it. I retired at age 62 from NCTE in 1997 but carried their anti-censorship work with me to Montgomery, Ala., where Deborah (Fortier, '66), now a Ph.D, is teaching technology in the graduate ed. program at Alabama State. I got an NEH grant to write a book, part autobio and part research, called JAZZ IN NEW ORLEANS--THE POSTWAR YEARS. It will be out in January as part of the Studies in Jazz Series for Scarecow Press. Next up-- if enrollment is sufficient I'll teach a jazz history evening course at Auburn/Montgomery this fall.
A shattering family event occurred last year when my second son, Greg (aka Stephan) died of a gunshot wound under strange circumstances in a friend's French Quarter apartment. Absent a prosecution by the DA's office, we're filing a wrongful death suit. Greg's death at age 38 left a big hole in our lives, but we are getting on with it, as we must.
Some of you know that last year your foreign language teacher (French and German?) Julia Schueler died of cancer. I reached her in time to congratulate her on ELSEWHERE: A MEMOIR just after it was published (LSU Press; available on amazon.com). [Click here for a review on the LSU Press site.] It tells of her harrowing life as a Jewish child in Europe during WWII, as well as her life in America. An extraordinary woman.
http://www.lsu.edu/lsupress/catalog/spring99/99spr_book/scheuler.htm
I'll stay tuned to the website and would be glad to hear from you individually at the email address above.--CS
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