Warning: This page may contain material of questionable content to small children, farm animals, venomous lizards from the desert Southwest, mischievous imps, fish named Irene, various household appliances, and anyone who hasn't been up all night before!
First of all, I must explain what the quote of the day is all about. Let's see, a bunch of us used to live on the same floor of a residence hall here at OU. Now we've spread out around Norman, but quotes still pop up now and then. This page will update you, the web browser, with the best quote from the past week.
Scroll down to the bottom of this page for the latest update!
Who are these people, you say? Head here to find out more about us. The point is most of us have a sense of humor that would tip a cow. Well, just about everyday someone says something worthy of documentation. I'm going to let the rest of you in on just what they say.
1997
MARCH 5: Chad: Don't you hate when you get a mug of coffee and as you're walking, you spill some on your hand, and you either have to throw the mug on the floor or stand and feel the burn.
BrianT: I had to feel the burn!
MARCH 6: Chad: By the end of that paper I was pulling stuff out of every orifice in my body. After the first page I was out of stuff to pull out of my butt. (SIDENOTE: CHAD MANAGED TO GET AN A ON THIS PAPER)
MARCH 7: Jeremy: I was getting something out of my closet when I got tangled in the cord and my clucking alarm clock fell off the shelf, hit me in the head, and exploded on the floor. (and there was much rejoicing in Chad's room next door)
MARCH 21: Lori: Just tell him he dated my brother, no wait a minute, his sister dated my brother. (Much laughter from the Calculus homework-doers)
MARCH 27: BrianG: Skeletor is not the person you'd expect an email about aviation from.
Chad:Maybe about osteoporosis or something like that.
MARCH 31: Chad: I can't believe James Earl Jones was in "Conan the Barbarian." There's just something fundamentally wrong with that.
BrianG: But he was in "Field of Dreams" so that makes up for it... well almost.
APRIL 7 BONUS: We stayed up all night so the quotes were a-flowin'
Chad (referring to mail order catalog): This catalog is the graveyard for all of the worst infomercials you've ever seen.
Chad: 'As Seen on TV', as if that isn't the damning point for any product you'd ever want to buy.
BrianG: What about the Baconwave?
Chad: Well, it's the Baconwave. That's different. It goes without saying.
Trav: Why am I always Captain Last Minute? (procrastinated on another assignment)
Trav: There's a little piece of Bjork in all of us!
Chad (in the middle of the cafeteria after staying up all night): I was about to laugh maniacally but that would give away too much of my present state of mind.
BrianG: You know you've been up all night. The good quotes really come easy.
APRIL 10: (During torrential rainstorm):
Chad: Look, there's about 3 inches of standing water along the highway. If you get one tire in that, you're dead.
BrianG: Yeah, you'll fly across the median into the oncoming traffic, and then it's "Goodnight Passenger."
Chad: Especially if the passenger's named Irene.
Chad: If I had a choice bewteen being buck naked and being buck naked with a hat on, I'd have to go with the hat.
APRIL 11:(at The Kettle, a restaurant, at 4:00 AM)
BrianG: Invisible sausages crawling across your temple o' gyration. (Note: This is a combination of several mutant phrases)
APRIL 16: Chad: You know, if I ever had to defend my life with a plastic bottle, I'd have a lot of practice.
APRIL 17: BrianG: You know, it tasted good, but it looked like a shrimp shaped pile of goo.
APRIL 18: Kevin: Have you ever wanted to go back and kill the guy whose name is attached to the homework problems. (Big discussion ensues)
Chad: I wonder if there's a crime for conspiracy to murder someone who is already dead.
MAY 7: BrianG (on hot day):
This is one day where I wouldn't want to be Chewbacca.
MAY 9: BrianG (commenting on the situation):
I almost did something irrational.
AUGUST 21: Dack: Do you play UltraDice with a joystick?
Chad(While grimacing): No, you don't!
AUGUST 22 (while storm chasing in Dodge City, KS):
Kevin: There's the hotel we stayed at when we were here last time.
BrianG: Wow! That looks classy. (Sarcastically, of course)
Patrick: Well, it wasn't that bad once you got past the lesbians in the parking lot.
AUGUST 23: Lisa: Ow! ALF hurts!
BrianG: Were you just singing Def Leppard?
Chad (while pummeling BrianG with ALF's steel-hard nose-mouth thing):No, no, no!
BrianG: Oh, that was 'love hurts, or love bites, not ALF hurts.' Sorry. Yeah, he does hurt, though.
SIDENOTE: DON'T ASK!
NEW FORMAT BEGINS HERE!
WEEK OF FEB. 14-21, 1998
Rich Johnson, of the Weather Channel: Today there's sunshine where the sun's out.
BrianG: Tell me I didn't just hear him say that!
Kevin: I'm afraid you did!
WEEK OF FEB. 21-28, 1998
Patrick: You know what's causing all of those tornadoes in Florida? It's El Gulfo, not El Nino.
WEEK OF MAR. 1-7, 1998
Kevin(discussing Lassie): I liked how Lassie would run up and bark and someone would say "What Lassie, trouble at the mill?"
WEEK OF MAR. 8-14, 1998
BACKGROUND STORY:
Kevin, Brian, and Ben on Spring Break in Lower Michigan, driving through a blizzard warning. Snow is blowing everywhere. No plows are in sight. 2 foot drifts on the highway. Already took a two hour break in the ditch. In tiny Alma Michigan in a Blizzard. Wind Chill of 20 below. In the parking lot of the Days Inn.
Kevin: Open the #@!@%# trunk! I'm freezing!
BrianG: (Inhuman howl of cold)
Ben: I can't find the hole!!
Kevin: Now there's your quote of the week!
WEEK OF MAR. 15-21, 1998
BACKGROUND STORY:
Chad and Dack playing World Cup Soccer on Nintendo. They're beating Cameroon 19-0. They're just mauling the opposing players. Dack's player sticks in one spot on the screen, unable to move.
Dack: I'm frozen in the ass-kicking position!
WEEK OF MAR. 22-28, 1998
BACKGROUND STORY:
Chad and Brian watching Solid Gold 70s CD compilation commercial.
Announcer: And from Starsky and Hutch, here's David Soul.
Chad: I'd forgotten he had a music career. No wait a minute, I never knew he had a music career.
WEEK OF MAR. 29-APR. 4, 1998
BrianG (Sampling some sour candy from the local store): This looks interesting, what's it called?.....Venom? Venom! I can't believe I'm gonna eat something called Venom.
Patrick: If your heart stops or something, just bang on the window a couple times.
WEEK OF APR. 5-11, 1998
Cartoon Network Announcer: For all the chicken that Shaggy is, he is one of the braver men I've met. After all, if I saw a swamp monster coming at me on the beach, "Zoiks" wouldn't be the first thing out of my mouth!
WEEK OF APR. 12-18, 1998
(Told to Brian by Kyle Anderson, WMU)
7-11 TV commercial: Our new chicken sandwich is like El Niņo in your mouth!
WEEK OF APR. 19-25, 1998
Space Ghost, on Space Ghost: Coast to Coast:
I'm tired. I'm hungry. There's a talking voodoo doll taking chunks out of my horse. Now where's my pizza?
Insanity Central took a break from the quotes for a while, kiddies, but they're back now!
WEEK OF JUNE 28-JULY 4, 1998
Brian's applying for job at local restaurant.
Waitress: You want to work here? Are you mentally deranged?
Brian: Why yes, yes I am.
Waitress: Oh, then you'll fit right in!
WEEK OF JULY 5-11, 1998
Lori, at Braum's, to Brian, after Lori's friend Cale(6 yr. old) falls off chair and nearly injures himself:
It's your fault. It's always your fault. I blame you for everything!
Kevin: Yeah, you're kinda like El Niņo
Cale (Remember he's 6): Yes, the Golden Girls, they're so funny. (Much laughter from the room).
WEEK OF AUGUST 9-15, 1998
Brian: The girls of Iceland are pretty icy, huh?
Jeremy: I'll bet they made you blue.
(Moans and groans from the rest of the table while Jeremy cackles)
Chad: Now where's the slipper when you need it?
Trav: If only it were funny.
WEEK OF AUGUST 30-SEPTEMBER 5, 1998
Background: Erin sleeps late. She's not ready for class when Patrick knocks on her apartment door 25 minutes before class.
Erin: Give me five minutes!
Patrick: OK.
(10 minutes later, in the car on the way to class)
Erin: I've got my shirt on backward!
Patrick: Wait 'til your mom hears about this!
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