IC's B Movie Reviews

Bats (1999)

OK, this movie was bound to end up on this page sooner or later. There's some weird contest at the beginning of the movie, and we thought it was rather odd that Canadian residents had to answer a skill-testing question in order to receive a free sticker.

Here's a quick synopsis of the plot: Some town in the desert Southwest, I think it was Gallup, TX. People are getting mulched. The town is wondering what's killing everyone. They think it's bats. So, they call in a bat expert played by Dina Meyer. Of course she says bats don't eat people. But, nosir, these ain't your garden variety bats.

Yes, folks, it's another genetic mutation movie. Those evil government scientists are at work again. This time, they genetically engineer super-bats for military use (I think). Of course they turn on their creators and escape to terrorize the locals with wacky results.

Yep, as soon as everyone's in place, the bats descend on downtown. There's tons of wacky bat close-up scenes that show their mutant faces. We described it as a cross between a sockpuppet and a rottweiler. The close-ups include bats slinking along bars, the bat-sleeper hold, tons of wing-slaps and weird supposed bat screams.

Well, the sheriff played by Lou Diamond Phillips leads the locals to contain and eliminate the bats before they can escape and maul the entire country. They eventually get trapped in the local school and the exciting bat brawl ensues. They eventually end up going down an abandoned mine shaft (what a surprise) and trudging through a cave full of guano before carrying out their plan before the military comes and incinerates them.

Here's some morsels from the peanut gallery during this movie:

Howard: 'What ever became of Lou Diamond Phillips besides this? He used to be a good actor.'

Brian: 'This is like Outbreak but with bats instead of rabid gorillas, like The Rock with bats instead of chemical weapons, like Gremlins with bats instead of gremlins, and like The Birds with bats instead of birds.'

Now, to the ratings

Ratings

W -
- High budget explosions and other effects make this kinda worth watching, but the fact you've seen this before makes it old. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't all that good either.
HA -
- There was the occasional bad one-liner, but for the most part, this movie was funny when it tried to be.
UC -
- Bat close-ups and bat wrestling moves earn this a 5.
C -
- The comment above saying it's like ___ but with bats intead of ___ combined with the fact they said the word bats WAY WAY TOO MUCH during this movie (72 times, often twice in a sentence) makes this movie not very high on the creativity scale.

This one was OK, nothing to write home about, but a good one to snag if you've seen all the other bad horror movies already.

B MOVIE MAYHEM