Quack-free version

Welcome to the Madison Animals Conspiracy Against BRian pagE, otherwise known as MACABRE. Over the last several weeks, Brian, and several other IC Technicians have noticed a disturbing trend among the animals of Madison. They seem to be following us. Most notably, the ducks of Madison. Now, you might say "Brian, I think you've finally lost it. You're paranoid about ducks that are following you." Well, you're probably right, but I've been taking photographic evidence ever since I saw a duck sitting on a tree branch.

Yes, a tree branch. Granted, the tree wasn't that tall and the duck could've probably walked up the trunk to the branch, but it was still on a tree branch. The most unsettling aspect of this duck-stalking is the locations where ducks appear. Nowhere near water, out in the middle of nowhere, in people's garages, outside campus buildings just waiting for you. I don't know what they're up to, but I'm pretty sure it's not good.

Conspiracy theory experts in the IC Labs have produced some photographic evidence that suggests cooperation between the notorious Reeve's Muntjac (a small goat-like deer thing that slinks around its pen in Madison's Vilas Zoo and barks when threatened) and the ducks.

Muntjac Surveillance Photos

Here's a surveillance photo of the Reeve's Muntjac at the criminal mastermind's home base: Vilas Zoo.

See, it does look like a goat-like mini-deer! Anyway, while visiting the muntjac with some friends from U.W., we noticed the muntjac was doing perimeter surveillance of the pen.

Here he is checking us out, scanning us for wires and cameras.

Thankfully we just posed as tourists this day and got away without meeting the muntjac's antlers. His monitoring of the fenced perimeter was most likely to keep prying eyes and ears away from the criminal lair set in the middle of the pen.
Here he is slinking across the pond back to the hideout.

Notice the suspicious-looking waterfowl in the foreground. We did.
Here he is discussing the plan with his well-hidden accomplice.
He notices us and looks up suspiciously.

We retreat to the other side of the pen to await the next move.
Here he is signalling the ducks with the all clear sign.

This was our first indication of the coming alliance between the muntjac and the ducks. We finally catch a glimpse of his accomplice, the notorious Muntjackie Onassis (sorry couldn't resist) - aka Mama Muntjac (no antlers). Little did I know what would be in store for the coming months. This trip to the zoo was in the early Spring. Here's what's happened since then.

Duck-Muntjac Alliance

Oh yeah, if you have sound on your computer and can't take that Mission: Impossible duck quacking any more, Click Here to shut it up

This picture of a duck standing next to the Reeve's Muntjac sign in the zoo looking suspiciously up at us is an example of what was to come.

Here's the proof:
May 15, 3:30 P.M.: Brian sees a duck on a tree branch,ending a week where he sees ducks lurking in dense shrubs, on park benches, and in other places you wouldn't Normally find ducks. Brian starts carrying camera at all times.
May 18, 5:30 P.M.: Brian sees this duck waiting for him after work outside the Soil Science department at U.W.
May 19, 5:17 P.M.: Brian runs into a couple of ducks in a deserted alley between Adams and Jefferson Streets near campus. They definitely look suspicious.
May 22, 9 A.M.: Ducks line the bike path on Brian's way into campus - methodically placed every 50 yards - they all look up and quack as Brian rides by. He's starting to get concerned.
May 26, 9 A.M.: These two ducks are conveniently waiting for Brian outside his car when he arrives at work (they're gone when he leaves shortly thereafter for Michigan)
June 2, 12 Noon: Brian sees ducks flying parallel to his car as he drives down M-35 from Escanaba towards the Wisconsin border.
June 5, 6:30 P.M.: Two ducks wait for Brian near the Atmospheric Science building as he leaves work.
June 7, 9 P.M.: These two ducks suspciously circle Brian's table at the U.W. Memorial Union Terrace.
June 18, 7 P.M.: Two ducks parallel Brian's car on the way back from his friend Kyle's wedding (where the topic of conversation was the Reeve's Muntjac on more than one occasion)

* Note: This page is to inform you, the Insane web browser, of the possible dangers of encountering ducks in Madison, WI. This in no way implies that ducks are either good or evil, but just keep your eyes peeled (like grapes) for any suspicious activities. I think they've contracted some sparrow hit-birds to knock me off my bike on the busy roads, but other than that, I'm O.K. Keep an eye out for future Duck/Muntjac/other suspicious animal updates on the MACABRE page. And yes, this is a joke. So don't order up the strait-jacket... yet.

1st Floor of the HOI