Mike woke Patrick up the day of their flight and both quickly showered and dressed, grabbed their suitcases and carry-ons and headed for the airport. The flight to Columbus was quick as the lay-over and plane change in Charlotte boarded immediately as they departed the first aircraft. As they got off the ramp from the plane in Columbus, Patrick heard his name called and had enough warning to drop his bags as his sister Diana came up and gave him a crushing hug.

"PATRICK!", Diana yelled as she hugged, "I am so glad you could make it."

"Diana...go easy on him!", Mike said sternly.

Diana stopped her hug and pulled back, looking at her brother quickly and realizing how thin and drawn he was for the first time. She then pulled him back into a soft hug.

"Are you OK? What are you taking for it?", Diana asked her brother, who proceeded to rattle off the names of the drugs his doctor currently had him taking.

"Wow!", Diana laughed, "They seem to be working for you."

"Well...", Patrick said, "I guess so. HEY....who told you?!! You weren't supposed to know. I didn't wanna ruin your wedding!"

"Patrick!", Diana said quietly, "We all know. Mike called and talked to me a few months ago and told me. He was really upset and just needed someone to unload on.

"Oh",Patrick said in a tiny voice as he looked over at Mike, realizing just how hard it must be for his lover to watch him die. "That's OK, then."

"So....Patrick", Diana said with a grin, "I heard you thought my wedding might be dull, so you invited some pop music stars to liven it up."

"Yeah", Patrick joked, "Being the well known playboy that I am.....I invited a superstar boy band to come to your wedding."

Patrick's levity caused the three of them to break out into laughter. Diana drove them back to her house, showing Patrick and Mike to the guest room, and letting them settle in. Patrick laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, tired from the long flight. After what seemed like a few minutes, Patrick felt Mike's hand on his shoulder shaking
him awake.

"Patrick!", Mike said insistently, "Wake up...its time to go and eat....and there are some people here to see you too!"

"...Humph-huh", Patrick said sleepily. "What's that?"

"Your folks and your sisters are downstairs with some guests. Get up and change clothes and we'll all go to dinner.", Mike smiled as Patrick slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

Patrick pulled on a pair of pants and a nice polo shirt and followed Mike down the stairs. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Patrick heard some familiar voices.

JC looked up as Mike re-entered the room followed by another young man that, by his drawn and rather thin frame, he assumed was Patrick. JC got up out of his chair and walked over to Patrick and pulled the shocked young man and his partner into a warm embrace.

"Hi Patrick. Hi Mike", JC said with a slight grin, "It's so good to finally meet both of you." JC pulled back suddenly and looked at Patrick. "I didn't hurt you did I? I didn't wanna squeeze you too hard."

"Oh JC.....Everyone listen", Patrick said with a sigh as his eyes began to tear up, "hugging doesn't hurt, OK? As weak as I may be or become...affection is a pressure that I will still be able to bear."

JC smiled and nodded, though his eyes were rapidly filling with tears.

Justin, Lance, Joey and Chris all come over then and also hugged and greeted Patrick.

"So", Diana said, her eyes wet from crying watching the guys meet her brother, "Let's go to a nice restaurant and eat."

Diana, her fiancé, and Patrick's parents took her car and the guys and Mike and Patrick followed in the guys rental van. Lance drove with Joey calling shotgun and Patrick and Mike sat in one of the rows of seats in the van and talked with JC and Chris, and Justin.

"So guys", Patrick asked with a chuckle, "Do you do this kinda stuff often?"

JC shook his head quietly and answered, "No. Our managers hardly ever let us meet privately with our fans, without security. Sometimes its hard to make friends doing what we do."

"Well", Mike said, "I think its outstanding that your managers let you guys out to come and meet with us. I really appreciate it..." Mike said as his eyes fell on JC, who was staring at him intently. "...more than you realize.", Mike added quietly, almost inaudible.

"Well....", Lance said from the front of the van, "We kinda didn't ask for permission this time. I'm sure our managers are gonna be kinda pissed that we took off without telling anyone before a show. They'll have to get over it."

"Guys", Patrick said suddenly, "I don't want to get you into any trouble....Why don't you just call them and leave them a message about what you're doin."

"Trouble?", Joey said laughing, "We'd better not get in trouble! Brian, AJ, and Nick do crazy shit all the time and they never get in any trouble."

"Oh really?", Patrick said smiling, "What kinda stuff do they do?" "Those guys?", Joey laughed, "They go off shopping unescorted.....which is like the kiss of death. They go out drinking and dancing the night before a show....hell....I heard Nick and Brian had a guy in their room one night taking turns with Nick so that he couldn't hardly walk the next day!"

"Wait a minute!", Mike said, perking up, "Nick is gay? Brian too?"

"Naaah", Joey grinned, "Nick is....Brian still thinks he's bi. From what I hear, Nick is an insatiable bottom in bed."

"Oh my!", Patrick laughed, "That's something you won't see in the next issue of Teen Beat."

The guys began to laugh really hard and Lance had to try hard to keep the van from swerving on the road.

"Though in my mind I can see the magazine spread now.", Patrick continued, "Are you man enough for Nick? Take this test to find out. Question #1: Is your endowment over 9"? Question #2: The last time you brought home a trick, did he leave: (a) an hour or so later, (b) in the morning, (c) After breakfast, or (d) just after dinner the next day? If you answered "yes" to question #1 and (d) to question #2, send a Self addressed stamped envelope to: Teen Beat Contest #69: "Get Deep Inside Nick Carter". PO Box 6969, Orlando, FL 39394."

JC, Justin and Chris were rolling on the floor laughing at Patrick's scenario and Joey's laughter had gotten so that he began to hit the dash and cough. Lance had begun to wipe the laugh tears from his eyes so that he could see to continue driving. Luckily, they had arrived at the restaurant and Lance slowed and parked the van in the first
space available.

Still giggling, the guys caught up with Diana, her fiance and Patrick's parents as they entered the restaurant. Patrick's parents hung back, letting everyone enter after Diana. Patrick looked at his parents as they turned to face him, his mother, usually stoic and frank, looked almost a blank, though a little sadness and melancholy was
beginning to show through. His father, usually so talkative and lively, looked pale, tired, and sad. Patrick sighed audibly and his mother immediately threw her arms around him, stifling a sob as she embraced her only son.

"Don't give up. Fight it. Don't die before me. I don't think I can bear to see my baby die.", she whispered softly in Patrick's ear as she increased the pressure of her hug. As suddenly as it began, she pulled back, leaving Patrick shaking, barely able to keep himself from sobbing.

His father put his arm around his shoulder, hugging him lightly. "Mike's keeping you strong?"

"Yeah...he won't let me go. He wrote a letter to those guys and their management to see if they could write or talk to me and keep my spirits up. They one-upped him. They came out here to see me and invited me to go to their concert.", Patrick smiled.

"He's a good man.....you got a good man there.", Patrick's father said with a small smile.

"Yeah.", Patrick said, "Too bad I have to leave him soon."

"We all have our time....", Patrick's father said, his voice choked to a whisper as the tears began to fall down his face.

Patrick looked at his parents as they stood around him, silently crying and he drew along breath.

"Mom....Dad", Patrick said, "Promise me that when you come to the funeral, you'll beat the shit out of the first person that says, "Oh....he looks good....or Oh...He looks so natural.", even if they are related to us."

Patrick's parents looked up at him and began to laugh despite themselves. Tears rolled off both their faces as they laughed. Patrick's mother was the first to stop laughing and she nodded, "OK...", she said with a half smile, "Anyone making stupid observations at my son's funeral will be taken out into the parking lot of the funeral home
and will summarily have the shit beaten outta them."

Patrick smiled at his parents. "Well....enough of this. I am not at all near death yet. Let's go eat, and celebrate Diana's wedding. No more glum faces...OK?"

"OK", Patrick's parents said in unison as they re-opened the door to the restaurant and walked inside.

The dinner went smoothly, with everyone eating and having a good time. As the dinner finished, the waiter brought over the check and Patrick snatched it up quickly, surprising his sister and his parents and the guys.

"I'll be back in a second.", Patrick said as he took the check over to the waiter and gave him his credit card. A few seconds later, Patrick walked back over to the table and grinned.

"Sorry....", he said, smiling lightly, "I never have gotten to pay for dinner my whole life with you all around and this seemed like it might be my last chance."

Diana snickered softly as Patrick's parents just shook their heads and smiled. With that Patrick grabbed Mike and JC's arms and began to walk towards the doors, letting everyone catch up quickly. As soon as they got outside, Patrick let go of JC's arm and began to head over towards the van.

JC smiled and waited for Lance to unlock the van and everyone piled in.

The ride home started off quiet, as an almost somber mood descended upon Patrick. Justin tapped Patrick on the shoulder and Patrick turned around and smiled.

"You OK?", Justin asked, as the heads of the guys in the van all turned to hear his reply.

"Yeah...I guess so.", Patrick said sadly, "Its just that I've never seen my mom cry before. I grew up thinking I was half Vulcan, but without the pointy ears." Patrick then told of the encounter with his parents outside the restaurant.

"Oh.", Justin said sadly, tears streaming down his face, "They are handling it so well." Justin then put his arms around Patrick's neck and pulled him into a hug.

"This really sucks!", Justin sniffled.

"After meeting you and seeing how you are and everything, this is the first time I have ever questioned my faith in God. He isn't a fair and loving God if he would let you die and pull you away from Mike and your family....while letting murderers and evil people live. He's just wrong.....stupid!", Justin continued, his crying turning to impotent
anger at something he could not control.

Patrick grabbed Justin's hands and held them tight as JC put his arms around Justin.

"No....Justin. God does as He will. Life isn't fair from our perspective...but it may look different from where he sits. Maybe he has a bigger plan for all of us, and I am not in it. Faith is just letting go and trusting in God. Faith has guided you all to greatness. But your Faith is always being tested. Faith has brought you to see me, and is testing
you all. Justin. Never let go of your faith.", Patrick said.

Justin looked up at Patrick and sighed, realizing the truth in his words.

Lance stopped the engine and turned around in his seat, "We're here!"

Patrick, Justin, JC, and Lance stood in the kitchen, drinking water and chatting.

"So Patrick", Lance said quietly, "What are you gonna do when you get....sick?"

Patrick looked up and shrugged, "I have arrangements with a hospice and for my funeral and all. Mike said he'd stay by me til the end."

Lance nodded as Justin and JC stared at Patrick.

"I do have one more thing I have to take care of before I die...", Patrick said quietly.

"What?", JC said sadly, "Can we help?"

"Maybe....I dunno.", Patrick shrugged, "I have to find someone for Mike to fall in love with....I don't want him to be alone after I die."

Patrick felt six eyes staring sadly at him as he finished his sentence, he looked up and his eyes locked with JC's.

JC eyes widened and he turned pale as he stared into Patrick's green eyes, eyes that stared into his soul, seeing everything inside.

Mike opened the door to the kitchen and walked over to the sink, filling his glass with ice water and turning to face the group of guys.

"What's up? You guys look like the cat's butt!", Mike said smiling, causing Justin, and Lance to chuckle.

"We're just talking about the future.", Patrick said, tearing his gaze away from JC and smiling at his lover.

"Oh. Let's let the future be out there", Mike said, sighing and pointing out into the sky. "Lets not waste the time that we have all together now...worrying about what the future holds for us. The future is ever changing....to look to it as a guide for living would be a fool's endeavor."

Patrick coughed and looked at Mike and smiled, "I never knew that you read my writing."

"You wrote that?", Lance said, his eyes wide.

"Yeah...", Patrick blushed, "Its from one of my slash fiction stories I wrote about you guys and the Backstreet Boys."

"You wrote fan fiction?", Justin grinned, "About us?"

"Yeah", Mike smiled, "His stories were really good....and with a few exceptions, he got down your personalities really close to real life."

"I have to read them!", Justin smiled, "What is one about?"

"Well...", Patrick smiled, "One has JC and you as lovers, and Lance and myself as lovers....and Joey and Chris are straight till the middle of the story when discover that they are kinda bisexual. They end up hooking up together. In another JC and Nick of the BSB hook up and Brian and Justin hook up. Lance, Joey and Chris are straight."

"Wow", Lance laughed, "We get more action in your stories than we ever see in real life!!"

After a chorus of "speak for yourself" 's, the guys laughed at Lance's funny observations.

Patrick smiled, "So JC.....who's your main squeeze?"

JC looked at Patrick and sighed, "No one, I am single."

Patrick flinched as if slapped by JC's response, "I am sorry...that was a sore spot...I can tell.", he said quietly.

JC looked up and sighed, "Its OK."

"Guys", Lance said, looking at his watch, "We better get going back to the hotel. The wedding is at 11 am tomorrow."

Justin and Lance walked over to Patrick and Mike, giving them goodnight hugs then walking out into the living room to collect Joey and Chris.

JC looked up at Mike and then to Patrick and sighed. He walked over and grabbed both men into a strong hug, then looked up again at Patrick, who again caught his stare and held it, causing JC to remember their earlier conversation. JC smiled at Patrick and Mike then grabbed both their hands and led them out into the living room.

After saying goodnight, the guys from NSYNC made their way back to the hotel. This time Chris drove with JC Joey again in shotgun. Lance, Justin, and JC sat quietly in the back of the van.

"JC?", Justin asked quietly, looking over at JC's quiet somber expression.

"Yeah Justin?", JC replied, his eyes still staring off into the distance.

"Are you OK?", Justin asked quietly, "You still seem really upset. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea."

"WHAT?", JC asked incredulously, his voice cracking slightly. "We all read the letter....we know what is gonna happen to Patrick. I guess knowing someone is gonna die is easier for me to accept when I don't know the person. But that all changed today....I let him in....he's real to me now, where before he was just a name in a letter or a voice on the phone. Now....I can't accept it. I don't wanna accept it. You said it yourself, Curly....It's just unfair that this should happen to him. When I look in his eyes...I don't just have my faith in God tested like you, I've feel like I've begun to hate God for letting this happen."

Lance and Justin gasped from the force and fervor of JC's response.

"You don't mean that.", Lance said quietly after a few minutes. "JC....What's going on with you?"

"I don't know.....", JC stammered.

"He wants me to fall in love with Mike.", JC added quietly, only loud enough for Lance and Justin to hear.

"What?!?", Justin and Lance gasped.

"Why do you think he mentioned it tonight.", JC said as tears began to fall down his cheeks, "He wants Mike to be with someone after he dies...he wants it to be me."

"But JC", Lance stammered, "You're not gay...are you?"

JC put his head in his hands, burying his face as he began to sob.

"Yes I am!", he said between sobs. "Yes I am!"

"Oh JC!", Justin and Lance said, both grabbing him and hugging him.

"I never showed it because I didn't know how you guys would take it. I didn't want to rock the boat.", JC said as he calmed down.

"JC", Joey said from the front, "You're still our family, and we still care about you. Why should you being gay change that?"

Chris, Justin, and Lance nodded in agreement with Joey.

"Thanks guys. I was just scared. I didn't want to be left alone. I care about you all so much....", JC said quietly.

"So", Lance said with a sigh, "I wonder how Patrick knew?"

JC just shook his head.

"What are you gonna do?", Justin asked, "Are you gonna tell Mike...or talk to Patrick again."

"I am gonna be there as much as I can for Patrick.", JC said sadly, "I won't tell Mike, tho...it would only upset him, which would then upset Patrick. I'll talk to Patrick about it."

JC opened the door of the van after Chris parked at the hotel and immediately went to his room, mulling over his thoughts and reflecting on memories of the night's happenings. As he lay there on his bed, his eyes began to close and he fell into a dream filled slumber.

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