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| "Hey Tom, tell these people about the phillippines!"-Mark "In the Phillippines, when a babies crying, you have to suck on it's penis to make it stop crying. The same thing goes with me, if I'm crying, you suck on my penis."-Tom (Urethra Cronicles) "I don't know why I am in this band, I am the only guy that likes girls. I'm the only one that believes that guys and girls should be together and that babies should be made through the penis vagina way. The old way. These guys are trying to create some weird, uh, wacky, maybe the penis in the butt will get a kid. I don't know, I don't think that works-" "(laughing) "What?"-Mark "No, dude, don't come here and act like your like, heterosexual."-Tom (Urethra Cronicles) "I really enjoy, uh, getting make-up and my butt worked on. What I do normally before a show is I get my butt spackled, shaved, waxed, massaged, and buffed..."(Urethra Cronicles) "I wanna have an orgasm on stage here, all I need is some light kisses to the tip of my penis. Just little small ones."(Concert) "You mean the shit people claim 'You're not punk anymore!' I think they're a bunch of little hypocrites. Punk has nothing to do with the label you're on. We still get that kind of crap, but for every hypocritical punk kid, there are hundreds out there who just like the music. It's all about music and fun anyway and I can't see anything wrong with that. All the selling out talk is really overrated, the funny thing is it hardly ever comes from bands, it comes from some kid who think they're so punk because they have a purple mohawk. And it's the one that has the biggest... ehhh ... mohawk is the most punk! Ha ha!"(Circus Mag) "I don't think god is happy with the words we say onstage.."(Rolling Stone Mag) "Just one boobie will make me horny as shit. And if you have threee boobies, then I'll get really really horny!" "Tom's girlfriend apparently likes ugly guys."-Scott "She looks for what's inside!"-Tom "She's a proctologist"-Mark(Interview) "Hey..how old are you? 15? OH MY GOD!!! put those things away."(Concert) "Well, uh, that one back there says hope, I hope I can get laid by a guy. The one on the front says Can I Say I'm gay, basically, can I say I'm gay. Like, if you look on his ghettoblaster that ghettoblasher is always playing homosexual music like Morrisey, Erasure. Uh... the bird on his right arm that you see there symbols ... a man... swoohing through the sky coming down and... sleeping with him."(Urethra Cronicles) "Marks penis only turns in a 90 degree angle."(Loveline) "I don't get boy bands these days. Thye don't write their own songs and everything is coreoghraphed from their dance moves to how they have sex with each other after the show." "If I was a thief, I'd only sneak into peoples houses and steal their underpants" "No don't come over here and act like you're heterosexual and all!" "You know, it's almost like we have a script to follow, but really we're just really funny guys. Funny, funny am I. "Seat belts kids." "I'm sick of been known as the sexy guy who writes the songs." "It's cold, it's raining.....and this is the most boringest place on earth." "We write songs about love, life friendship, food.....your mom." "All the.....All the.....I will not gooo.....FUCK!" "I can't live without mexican food." "I'm in my own personal hell." "Is this healthy? The rain, the cold, the Germany? The snot, the nose, the fever?" "Fuck me, I'm losing respect for myself as an artist.....and as a lover." - Tom "Go fuck your dad kids!" "I wet myself at night when I'm asleep, just like everybody.....I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else in this world.....we're not just a joke band" Mark - "How do you do these?" (Girls overalls) Tom - "Like you don't know!" "Please don't throw up your dirty toilet paper, we're not hungry" "Well, enemas sure brought my family closer together."(Launch) "I masturbated like 5 times in the last 24 hours, it hurts, i think it's gonna fall off"(Concert) -Mark Quotes- "There's nothing more laughable and uncomfortable than a naked guy with his wiener flopping." "I'm not a whore, I don't have sex with girls that I'm not in love with, but I've been known to partake of the occasional hookup and what-have-you." "I try not to judge people or talk sh*t about anyone except the other guys in my band." "We are not stars. We are all just dorks in a band" "I do not have a girlfriend, I have a dog." "We play poopy poppy punk like stuff" "I think age is just a stupid number." "We want people to take care of there butts, because we have to make sure there clean." "Look at me... look at me... I need the attention, oooh I'm punk rock I got some tatoos, I got some piercings. If I'm gonna get some piercings then I want everyone to see it...I don't need to advertise my punkness. A real punk doesn't need to show off...Its like a Karate man... the Karate man bleed on the inside. A real punk is punk on the inside." "Our favorite things in the world are pee-pee and doo-doo." "They always want to see how big our penises are." "Tom works out everyday dude." "Disney movies are f** bitching." "Never let anyone tell you how to live your life." "We're like Fisher-Price: My first punk band." "I don't like wine. I like mixed drinks. I don't even like beer... Beer is for men, cocktails are for gentlemen." -Tom Quotes- "I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and neither has my p**." "Do I look feminine when I stand like this?" "We take our music very seriously." "Humor has become so cliché and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable." After asked about getting spit on in concert he told someone - "Usually I'm too drunk to really care about it. Sometimes I'll look at my shirt and see a bunch of loogies and get all grossed out, but it's all in the name of fun." "Some people think we're idiots and perverts, which we are." "We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands," he says. "See who's having more fun." "I came up with a little formula," DeLonge says. "If you write songs about girls you get girls at show. We write a lot of songs about girls." "This type of music has a limited time span so we have to evolve and do the best we can now." "Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen." "I don't know why I am in this band, I am the only guy that likes girls. I am the only one that believes that guys and girls should be together and that babies should be made The old way. These guys are trying to create some weird wacky, maybe the penis in the butt will get a kid, I don't know.Ii don't think that works" Mark: " What?" Tom: " No, don't come here and try to act like your heterosexual!" "And as for signing to a bigger label .... well I'd like to make a lot of money and f** credibility. If I did it doesn't make me any different. Just richer." "This is a scene and the bands that have been in it a long time deserve the breaks. Doesn't mean they've changed. We haven't. We're still writing songs about girls." "I study that stuff, man," he says. "UFOs ... I'll tell you that I think in the next year the US government is going to come out and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals with all this stuff." "Actually, we are featured [ in American Pie] as incredibly sexy guys. The film company went out and did this huge 'sexy guy' search across the world and they found me. And I said, 'Well, I have this band, if you want to use them.' And they said, 'If that's the only way we can get you...' And I said, 'Yeah...'" "I think we need to [rehearse] more often. At least that's what people have been telling us for ten years." "It's so obvious that I have the most masculine attributes. If femininity were a sport, [Mark and Travis] would have a gold medal." "I don't know if you've ever had an enema, but it definitely brought my family closer together and I hope it brings my band closer together." "I've always liked girls. I think vaginas are much more attractive than penises. I think penises are God's cruel joke, I don't even like them--and I have one." "If a person has brains, they probably don't listen to our music. If a person has any pride or any kind of family values, chances are they probably don't listen to us." "For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm and I am undefeated." "Some people think we're idiots or perverts. Don't argue people, we are both." "I came up with a little formula. If you write songs about girls, you get more girls at a show. We write A LOT of songs about girls." -Travis Quotes- "We are just a silly little punk band." "Who's beer is this?" "Everything is beautiful in this band. It's much simpler than the nine piece I was in before." "We are just a little punk band." "I like gangster rap because it's funny, but I'm not into anything though if it doesn't have a good message." "I don't write lyrics or anything like that." "Our music has nothing to do with politics or aggression. It's all about fun." "I cannot have anything to with something that suggests violence." "I've got three supped up [Cadillac's] ready and waiting for me when I'm finished touring." "My tattoos, O.K...starting on the arms...there's the Virgin Mary for my mom , Familia for friends, Drums, Devils, Birds, '$' symbol, microphone for music and singing in general, bombshell for the ladies...what else do we got...girl on the rocket, Jesus, INRI...over to the stomach, The Ghettoblaster is for my love of Hip Hop, the trucker ladies because I love ladies, Cadillac logo for my love of Cadillacs, Can I Say for DagNasty. On my leg I don't want to grow up-Descendents Tattoo...because that band changed my life." |
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