I just couldn't resist one more exerpt from "The Southern Rules" by Ellen Patrick. You really should get this book...it is hilarious but just oh so true.
Yankee women may retire to their rooms and weep their lives away when they are rejected, but not us Southerners. Oh no. For us, revenge is a way of life. We live and breathe it. The South was built on revenge and that's a fact that ain't going to change anytime soon. So when Bubba rejects you, by all means--SEEK REVENGE! ...So wipe your tears and get your flirtatious rear end in gear. The following ten hints will help you gain control.
- Allow yourself to cry for twenty minutes at the very most. Any more than that he doesn't deserve, and it will make your eyes puffy and unsightly. He doesn't deserve to do that to you either.
- If it helps you feel better, stick pins in his picture or doodle on it so he looks ridiculous. You may keep this harmless voodoo in sight for a few days just to remind yourself of what an idiot he is, but put it away after that because even stuck full of pins and with horns on his head, he doesn't merit that much of your attention.
- Burn something significantly symbolic of him.
- Allow yourself a few drinks if this helps ease the pain and helps you sleep better at night.
- Pamper yourself to the absolute ultimate: Take long deliciously scented baths, light candles, get a massage and facial, buy yourself something new to wear.
- Take extra-good care of your health. Get eight hours of sleep at night, get plenty of exercise, eat a balanced diet, and take your vitamins.
- Absolutely do not under any circumstances call him.
- Do not write him notes or try to get to him through his mama or the rest of his family or friends.
- It is acceptable to appear at social functions you know he will also be attending as long as you are sure you are fully in control of yourself and can act breezy and blase' about running into him. Be sure you are looking fabulous and have a good-looking date.
- Prime a well-placed grilfriend or two to drop comments around him regarding how great you are doing, how wonderful you are looking and how happy you are.
