Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing camies and has an AK-47.
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: They're both gay.
Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: The postman had the same idea.
Worse: There's a line, waiting.
Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
Worse: It's Tuesday morning already.
Good: You finally get a nite out.
Bad: You're seen going into a strip show by a gossip.
Worse: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your husband's exercising and dieting.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better.
Good: Your child's waiting for "Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.
Worse: He's recieved answers to his personals ad.
Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
Worse: He catches you looking and smiles.
Good: Your wife loves outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.
Worse: Neither of you drive.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
Worse: From her Woman's Club meeting.
Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: ALL of them.
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