HUMOR Digest - 30 Nov 1996 to 1 Dec 1996

Date: Sat, 30 Nov 1996 10:41:20 GMT
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Trio of Jokes

I met this over-zealous evangalist one time while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful I should be to have been spared, and how I should repent at once, he asked if all my sins had flashed before my eyes during the heart attack. I told him not to be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours.

Rest assured that my wife gets in a few shots from time to time. One hot day, I took a break from mowing the lawn and came in for a shower. Feeling refreshed upon stepping out & toweling off, I said, "Hon, whatya think the neighbors would say if I mowed the rest of the lawn like this ?"

She glanced over, paused, looked me up and down, and finally said, "They'd say I married you for your money."

Two bachelors competed constantly for the affections of a really beautiful woman, but the rivalry ended when the girl finally agreed to wed one of them. Both men attended a stag party and each was asked to say something about the bride-to-be.

"I was dreaming the other night, her intended began, "and I saw a field of flowers. As I walked through the meadow, a covey of doves darted up, and I captured the most beautiful bird which magically turned into my beautiful, caring and loving wife-to-be."

The somewhat bitter "also ran" stood up and said, "What an amazing coinicidence. I dreamed about the same field, and the very same doves. But when I reached up, all I got were a few pieces of tail."

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