HUMOR Digest - 10 Dec 1996 to 11 Dec 1996

Date: Tue, 10 Dec 1996 07:55:04 GMT
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Trio of Jokes

Having listened to the appeal of an elderly streetwalker, the newly elected magistrate was reluctant to sentence her. He ordered a short recess, then went to the chambers of an older and wiser Judge and asked "What would you give a 50 year old streetwalker ?"

The learned jurist thought for a brief moment and then replied, "Oh surely, no more than $20 son.

Two bachelors competed constantly for the affections of a really beautiful woman, but the rivalry ended when the girl finally agreed to wed one of them. Both men attended a stag party and each was asked to say something about the bride-to-be.

"I was dreaming the other night, her intended began, "and I saw a field of flowers. As I walked through the meadow, a covey of doves darted up, and I captured the most beautiful bird which magically turned into my beautiful, caring and loving wife-to-be."

The somewhat bitter "also ran" stood up and said, "What an amazing coincidence. I dreamed about the same field, and the very same doves. But when I reached up, all I got were a few pieces of tail."

Presidents have always been the butt of humor, as well as attacks. Recently though President Clinton thought a well known newspaper had gone too far and filed suit for libel.

At the trial, with the President on the stand, his lawyer displayed two very large photos. He turned and faced Clinton and said, "Now Mr. President, if you would sir, please indicate to the jury which is your ass, and which is a hole in the ground."

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