HUMOR Digest - 11 Dec 1996 to 12 Dec 1996

Date: Wed, 11 Dec 1996 20:04:05 GMT
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Resume Translator

Universal Resume Translator
            Part 2 of 2

"I'm willing to relocate":
    I've just been evicted again.

"I have a stable personal life":
     Once I finish with this latest divorce, that is.

"I'm extremely professional":
    I have one of those Day-Timer calendar thingees.

"My background and skills match your requirements":
     At that piddling salary, you're lucky to get anyone.

"I am adaptable":
     I've changed jobs a lot.

"I am always on the go":
     I'm never at my desk.

"I'm highly motivated to succeed":
     The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.

"I have formal training":
     My probation officer says I'm a natural student.

"I interact well with all co-workers":
     All those sexual harassment charges were a sham.

"I have a pleasant phone manner with lots of experience":
     I'm always making personal telephone calls.

"I look forward to hearing from you soon":
     Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter
     thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career

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