HUMOR Digest - 17 Dec 1996 to 18 Dec 1996 - Special issue

Date: Tue, 17 Dec 1996 08:23:26 GMT
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Corporate Translator

Universal Corporate Translator
             Part 2 of 3

"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS":
     After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k)

"SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE":
     Who won't notice our internship-level salaries

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
     We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up;
     well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings

"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT":
     We have a lot of turnover. (and/or)
     Lots of intra-office back stabbing

"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT":
     Guys in gray suits bore you with tales of Total Quality Mgt.

"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM":
     We all listen to nutty motivational tapes

"FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT":
     Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them

"A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT":
     We booze it up at company parties and after work hours

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
     You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day

"SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED":
     If we're in trouble, you have to explain to the customer

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
     Some time each night and some time each weekend

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