HUMOR Digest - 17 Dec 1996 to 18 Dec 1996 - Special issue
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 1996 08:23:26 GMT
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Corporate Translator
Universal Corporate Translator
Part 2 of 3
"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS":
After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k)
"SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE":
Who won't notice our internship-level salaries
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up;
well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings
"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT":
We have a lot of turnover. (and/or)
Lots of intra-office back stabbing
"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT":
Guys in gray suits bore you with tales of Total Quality Mgt.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM":
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes
"FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT":
Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them
"A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT":
We booze it up at company parties and after work hours
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day
"SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED":
If we're in trouble, you have to explain to the customer
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
Some time each night and some time each weekend
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