Return to JimJr's Postings PageHUMOR Digest - 2 Jan 1997 to 3 Jan 1997
Date: Thu, 2 Jan 1997 02:48:28 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Getting Old ?
You can tell you're are getting old when:
* Dialing long-distance wears you out.
* Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
* Your back goes out more often than you do.
* You get winded playing games on the computer.
* You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
* You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
* A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
* Burning the "midnight oil" now beings roughly at 8:00 PM.
* "25 Years Ago Today..." is your favorite part of the paper.
* Almost everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
* The only "gleam in your eye" is the sun hitting your bifocals.
* You regret all those times in the past you resisted temptation.
* You can't stand all those damn stupid people who are intolerant.
* After painting the town red, you can no longer apply a 2nd coat.
* That sweet young thang you were just gonna hit on calls you "Sir".
* You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic.
* Your pacemaker opens the garage door as you watch a girl walk by.
* You decide to procrastinate, and yet never quite get around to it.
* Your "little black book" contains way too many names ending in M.D.
* You feel like the morning after, yet you haven't even been anywhere.
* Growing old doesn't seem so bad now when you consider the alternative.
* You know all of the answers, but nobody asks you the questions anymore.
* There's too much room in the house & not enough in the medicine cabinet.
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