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HUMOR Digest - 16 Jan 1997 to 17 Jan 1997
Date: Thu, 16 Jan 1997 03:23:59 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Another Trio of Jokes
They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye -- very young, ravishing and delectable.
As they each read their menus, the gentleman asked his date what she would like to eat.
She scanned the menu yet again, and said "To begin, I'll have two champagne cocktails, then a dozen oysters on the half shell and a tureen of turtle soup. As entrees I'll have the filet of English sole followed by pheasant under glass, plus an a la carte order of asparagus tips. For dessert, they may just bring the cart.
Somewhat surprised not only by her appetite, but by the cost of all of this, he asked, "Tell me. Do you eat this well at home too ?"
"Well, no." she admitted, "But no one at home wants to sleep with me."
A none-too-likeable, middle-aged office manager announced for all to hear after yet another office collection for the latest secretary to be wed, that in her younger days, she could have married anyone she pleased, but that she preferred her career to marriage anyway.
One of the office boys smiled, leaned over and & whispered to the manager's assistant, "Quite obviously she never pleased anyone, huh ?"
The beautiful young lady having just returned from a magnificent week long vacation in a South American republic, walked into the local bank & asked about exchanging currency. The teller said he would try to help her.
The lass plopped a huge wad of bills onto the counter & the teller then counted it, made a phone call, and returned to count out $ 27.18.
The wide-eyed woman gasped. "You mean to tell me that's all I get for that mountain of bills ?"
"I'm afraid so Miss." replied the teller, "That's the current rate of exchange according to our foreign exchange section."
"God Damn." she hissed, "And I gave that cheap S.O.B breakfast too."
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