HUMOR Digest - 20 Jan 1997 to 21 Jan 1997

Date: Mon, 20 Jan 1997 02:44:07 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Some Misc Jokes

An ornithologist I know, both a lover as well as an expert on all birds, claims that all too often the stork is held responsible for circumstances which might better be attributed to a lark.

I don't know what's wrong with me, doctor." said the young curvy callgirl. "I just feel so tried all the time -- dragged out. Just plain fatigued; no pep at all. Do you think it's vitamin deficiency, diet, low blood sugar, or what ?"

The doctor gave the young lady a complete physical and then after studying the results said, "Miss, there's really nothing at all wrong with you that I can find. You're just run-down, that's all. You've been working far too hard and for too many hours. I suggest you try staying out of bed for a few days."

I know a guy so lazy he's even found a way to cut classes offered via the Internet. He sends in blank e-mail responses to all the quizzes.

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ?"

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room.

Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was THAT woman ?!?!?"

The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey, please. I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."

The wife of an avid Internetter who surfed, chatted and e-mailed during almost every minute of his spare time recently won a divorce charging her husband with a total lack of attentiveness.

"If anything ever happened to me," said the bored and frustrated woman, "my husband wouldn't even be able to identify the body."

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