HUMOR Digest - 24 Jan 1997 to 25 Jan 1997

Date: Fri, 24 Jan 1997 03:43:31 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex and Love

I was having lunch with an old buddy of mine and naturally, we got to talking about women. He asked me how my love life was going and I told him all about my latest heart-throb, Sharon.

"I tell ya George, she's the only woman who's ever made me feel this way." I went on and on. "Just the touch of her hand... the way she walks... the smell of her perfume..."

After several more minutes of me extolling her virtues, George said, "Well Jimmy, you certainly do sound pretty far gone on this girl."

"Yeah !" I said smiling, as I lifted up my beer, "This time George, it's the real thing -- sex !"

I've come to the conclusion that Psychoanalysis is nothing but a big bunch of crap. After spending well over six months, and quite a bit of money, my shrink told me that I was definitely in love with my computer.

What a bunch of damn hogwash. I mean sure, we share a definite affection for each other... but, "love" ??? Why that's just plain ridiculous !

I guess I kind-of blew my own case, but I mean after all folks, you are supposed to tell the truth in court, after you've been sworn in and all. But this one young "lady" had me in court the other month on some trumped-up paternity suit.

There I was on the stand, when her shyster lawyer asked me: "Mr. Moore, did you, in fact, sleep with this woman ?"

Without a pause, I replied, "Not a wink counselor, not a damn wink !

I keep reading about how the world is once again facing a population explosion. They say in some countries that there will be standing room only in just a few years.

Hell, the way I see it, the birth rate should start decreasing fairly rapidly after that.

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