HUMOR Digest - 26 Jan 1997 to 27 Jan 1997

Date: Sun, 26 Jan 1997 05:18:52 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Women

Women can be so damn catty sometimes. I overheard one steno say to the other, as they watched the boss' secretary wiggle by: "There goes the original good time had by all."

The young reporter was interviewing a woman who had just reached her 100th birthday. Naturally, he had to ask the standard question: "And to what do you attribute your remarkable long life ?"

"Well sonny," she said thoughtfully, "I've always eaten moderately, worked hard, don't smoke or drink and I keep good hours."

Moving along, the reporter then said, "I see. Tell me though, have you ever been bedridden ?"

"Well... sure !" she said somewhat flustered, "But don't you dare to print that in your gawl darn paper."

One of those discount airlines recently had a promotion where they offered free air-fare to wives who accompanied their husbands on a business trip. Seeking some valuable testimonials, the PR unit of the airline sent out letters to the wives who took advantage of the offer.

I understand both written and telephoned responses are still flooding their offices asking, "What trip ?!?!?"

For those of you who don't know, Howard County in Maryland is home to a large "planned city" called Columbia. For reasons unknown, it seemed to attract a lot of Yuppies, some of whom are rather pretentious.

Those of us in the western part of the county, who are far less uptite, can't resist yanking these people's chains every so often. (Actually whenever we get the chance, to be honest).

Anyway, at a recent social event I ran into one crushing bore who was extolling the virtues of her little community within Columbia. "In Long Reach, we place all our emphasis on good breeding," she said, nose in the air, as if some foul odor was attacking her senses.

"Well," I replied, "We think good sex is a lotta fun out here too, but we still manage to foster a variety other interests as well."

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