HUMOR Digest - 31 Jan 1997 to 1 Feb 1997

Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1997 03:28:37 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex Thoughts

With winter time upon us now, may I remind y'all that a "coolie" is merely a "quickie" in the snow.

As an Engineer, I was always taught the laws of Psychics applied to all situations, regardless of the circumstances.

How is it then that the girls with the most streamlined shapes offer the most resistance ?

Although I can't stand raw oysters at all, I've always heard how they can improve a man's virility and stamina. Well, after having put it to the test by downing a dozen nitely for a period of an entire month, I can assure y'all that the whole thing is just a one big phoney myth.

The most I could get to work on any night the whole month was five.

Part of the curriculum in the schools these days is sex education. Educators are trying to teach abstinence as a option to the kids. One teacher was addressing her 7th grade class and said, "In moments of temptation, just ask yourself one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth what could end-up with disease, or worse -- a lifetime of shame and regret ?  Are there any questions ?"

One sweet young thang in the back of the room then raised her hand and asked, "Teacher, how do you make it last for an hour ?"

My wife, ever the gracious hostess, was serving drinks at one of our parties over the Holidays. A friend of ours brought his brother who had just been ordained a Priest. She offered the friend a drink from the tray and said, "I'm so sorry Father, I'll go right back to the kitchen and bring you a coke."

The Priest smiled and said "No need. I may have alcohol. Priests abstain from sex, not the grape."

"Oh !" said my wife blushing, embarrassed "I knew it was something I wasn't supposed to offer you."

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