HUMOR Digest - 10 Feb 1997 to 11 Feb 1997

Date: Mon, 10 Feb 1997 03:22:30 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore on Crime

Mrs. Remirezham telephoned her city councilman and begged for his help in getting her husband out of jail.

"Why is he in prison ?" the councilman asked.

"He stole 2 bags of groceries." she replied.

"Well, that doesn't seem too serious. Is he a decent man ?" asked the councilman.

"He's rotten." she quickly replied, "He beats me and the kids, he drinks, he gambles and he's hardly ever home."

"Why in the world would you want him back ?" the man asked.

"We're out of groceries again !" she said.

Crime is so bad in Baltimore City Maryland now, I understand even the muggers are concerned and traveling only in pairs.

A convicted felon was given ten years w/o parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news. Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little traveled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.

Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell. His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, "You good-for-nothing bum ! Where the hell have ya been ??? You escaped over six hours ago."

In Columbia Maryland (aka "Yuppie City") people don't worry about crime in the streets at all. The burglars all make house calls.

I was shocked when I'd heard a friend of mine was in jail. I called his wife to see if I could do anything. Naturally I asked her how long he was going to be incarcerated and what the charge was.

Without missing a beat, she replied "Oh, only 30 days, and don't worry, there's no charge, I understand everything is free."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page