HUMOR Digest - 14 Feb 1997 to 15 Feb 1997

Date: Fri, 14 Feb 1997 03:36:26 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Valentine's Day

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.

Guys, it's these little thoughtful things ya can do to have a marriage such as mine. I remember one Valentine's Day I had to be away on a business trip.

I wired flowers for my lovely wife, but she found the fuse.

Last year my wife sent me this card that said:
               "Take my heart"
               "Take my soul"

I mean, isn't that just like a woman ?

Saving all the best parts for herself.

Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

One of my neighbors sure learned a lesson last year on Valentine's Day. He gave this card to his wife extolling her virtues, beauty, and charm; said how lucky he was to have her; that he didn't deserve such a good woman.

Seems the more she thought about it, the more she agreed with him.

She left him before the end of the month.

Last year my wife said all she wanted for Valentine's Day was "the card." I picked out a real expensive one & thought the matter closed.

She got mad with me anyway. Turns out the card she wanted was her own Visa Platinum.

How in the hell am I supposed to know it's referred to as "_The_ Card ???"

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