HUMOR Digest - 14 Apr 1997 to 15 Apr 1997

Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 03:11:11 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Columbia Maryland Yuppies

I was at this fund raiser thing the other week and this Yuppie acquaintance from Columbia Maryland came over to bend my ear about all his latest acquisitions, as well as the purchase prices.

After about 10 minutes, he finally paused and said, "Oh, by the way Jimbo, I passed your house just the other day."

I sighed heavily and said, "Ohhhhhh, thank you !"

Columbia Maryland is some town. The first game the kids learn to play is hide-and-go-shop.

When Columbia Maryland was built, the Howard County Police Department had to retrain all their dogs to sniff out domestic quiche.

And they've got some of the most unique carry-outs too.
Why just the other month a Kentucky Fried Pheasant place opened.

Naturally a lot of places in the State are into bottled water.
But in Columbia, you can request the year.

Don't get me wrong now, I'm all for aesthetics... But...
Designer traffic lights ... in decorator colors ???

And you can always tell a Columbia Maryland widow.
She'll be the one wearing the black tennis and/or jogging outfit(s).

My wife got a recipe once for chicken soup from this Columbia Yuppette.
The very first instruction was "Bring the Perrier to a slow boil..."

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