HUMOR Digest - 17 Apr 1997 to 18 Apr 1997

Date: Thu, 17 Apr 1997 02:35:19 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Worldwide Sex

On an isolated stretch of beach in France, a beautiful girl threw herself into the sea and drowned, despite a young man's valiant attempts to save her. The man dragged the half-nude body of the woman ashore and left it on the sand while he went to notify the proper authorities.

Upon his return, he was horrified to see a man attempting to make love to the corpse.

"Monsieur !!! Monsieur !!!" he shouted, as loudly as possible, "That woman is dead !!!"

"Sacre bleu," exclaimed the man, springing up. "I thought ze lady to be an American Yuppette."

The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Archibald Carpley.

The irate Lord stood stiffly and loudly berated his wife for her infidelity. With thunder in his voice, he reminded her that he had taken her from a miserable existence on a local run-down farm, given her a fine home, provided her with servants, expensive clothes and jewels, and almost anything she desired.

By this time the woman was crying inconsolably, his Lordship then turned his wrath on his supposed friend: "As for you Reggie -- you might at least stop while I'm talking !"

The Dublin Mother was discussing her daughter's beau with her, "I really don't understand what you see in him, my dear. As far as I can fathom, he's just an everyday sort of a man."

"Aye. Right ya are. And I ask ya this..." responded the lass, "What more could a girl wish for ?"

The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over supper. "Get this," he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."

"Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."

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