HUMOR Digest - 20 Apr 1997 to 21 Apr 1997

Date: Sun, 20 Apr 1997 04:05:25 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Moore Health Notes

In June of 1990 I was in the hospital recovering from a bypass operation. A member of my Church's Council came to visit & said he brought greetings from the entire Council and their wishes that I should recover soon and live a long and healthy life. I thanked him and said that was very nice.

He was somewhat taken aback and said, "It's more than 'nice' Jimmy. It was an official resolution... passed by a vote of 14 to 7 too"

This older couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. As they were waiting to be processed, they began to look all around at their setting for eternity.

The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the contentment she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how fortunate she felt to be there.

The husband sneered, "If it weren't for you and your God damn oat bran muffins & health food crap, we'd have been here 15 years ago."

You can pretty much tell how healthy a man is by watching what he takes two of at a time -- pills, beers or stairs.

I know this Yuppie couple from Columbia Maryland, and boy are they ever health nuts. Whenever they have a real serious argument, she jogs home to Mother.

All things considered, I'm in pretty good health.
In fact, there's only one thing harder than my muscles -- my arteries !

And as the years go by, I think I'm getting stronger & stronger.
I mean years ago, I used to huff and puff when
I would carry $30 worth of groceries home.

Now, I don't even know I'm carrying them.

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page