HUMOR Digest - 23 Apr 1997 to 24 Apr 1997

Date: Wed, 23 Apr 1997 02:30:24 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Traffic & Driving

I gotta admit my wife is pretty tolerant of my "girl watching". We were at a shopping center waiting to cross over to where our car was parked.

I spied an attractive woman sitting in her car in the curb lane with her dress up rather high. As I stepped off the curb, my wife pulled me back out of the path of a moving car.

She said, "That was pretty close. Your eyes were almost on their 'last legs'."

A policeman arrives at the scene of what looks like a bad accident. There's a pedestrian lying, unmoving, in the crosswalk.

The driver of the car near-by says, "I swear, I never touched her. I saw her at the crosswalk and came to a complete stop. I smiled and waved for her to cross, and she fainted."

Traffic is terrible these days, and parking is even worse. The other day in Baltimore I saw a City tow truck impounding a car illegally parked. While the guy was hooking up the car, another motorist was stopped behind him, patiently waiting to pull into the spot.

My daughter asked me one time, "Daddy, before you married Mommie, who told you how to drive ?"

Actually if ya think about it, you really don't need a whole lot of manners if you're driving a 35 ton truck.

Why is it that when most people drive everyone going slower than they are is a moron, and those going faster are maniacs ?

The Howard County Police have stopped my wife so many times for speeding, they decided to save everyone time and just give her a season ticket.

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