HUMOR Digest - 1 May 1997 to 2 May 1997

Date: Thu, 1 May 1997 03:02:18 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Farms and Farmers

Howard County, where I live, is the site for three large dairy farms. My wife went to one which sells to the public. Since the milk is right at the source, it's not dated, so she asked if it were fresh.

The farmer seemed highly offended and said "Fresh ??? Lady, less than two hours ago, that milk was grass !"

Not far from me we have a friend who raises Brahma Bulls. I asked how he got them to breed so well, since he has a nice herd.

He said that he gave the bulls potency pills and I asked what the pills were made of.

He said "Damned if I know, but they taste a little like a saltine."

I saw an interview on TV where this one old farmer won ten million in the Lottery. Naturally he was asked what he was gonna do with all that money. He kinda scratched his head and said, "Not sure as I know right off. Guess I'll keep farmin' till it's all gone."

When we were looking to buy property I had this over zealous realtor show us what can only be described as a totally worn-out old farm. I mean the land had just been worked to death. The weeds were hardly even growing.

The smiling super salesman said, "Now really, all this land needs is a little water, a nice cool breeze and some good people."

I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the same be said of Hell ?"

I was just visiting some friends who have a real working farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them. The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating.

I stood there thinking to myself, "Damn ! I hope I never get that hungry."

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