HUMOR Digest - 2 May 1997 to 3 May 1997

Date: Fri, 2 May 1997 02:33:18 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Misc Humor

I've been having so much fun on this humor listserver thing. I often read my stuff aloud to Mrs. JimJr. Just the other morning she had no comment, so I said "Hon, did you hear my last joke ?"

There was a pause, and then she replied in her famous monotone, "I certainly hope so !"

Lots of people have the "gift of gab". Unfortunately, very few of them know how to wrap it up.

Thank goodness another tax year is over too. This year, my accountant came up with some many deductions, I should have plenty left for bail.

Y'all wantta know what's wrong with this country ? Well, I'll tell ya one thing for sure. For President we get our choice of two, maybe three candidates; for Miss America, we get at least fifty.

Saw this Yuppie acquaintance of mine from Columbia Maryland the other week. Hoping to escape with just some small talk, I asked him how he was doing. He said that he now realizes he used to be an arrogant, conceited, overblown pain in the ass.

Then added. "But after just six short months of therapy Jimmy, I've changed. Now you couldn't meet a more friendly, nicer, more considerate guy than me."

My wife is just as pretty as the day I married her. Of course, these days it takes about two hours longer.

Like just the other nite, we were going out. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said "Does this look natural ?"

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