HUMOR Digest - 8 May 1997 to 9 May 1997

Date: Thu, 8 May 1997 03:09:21 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Drinking

I heard the other day that people who drink whiskey get more cavities than milk drinkers. Well that may be, but I'll tell ya this -- we drinkers go to the dentist in a better frame of mind.

Had a friend that stopped drinking completely recently.
Two local bars sued him for non-support.

Any of you old enuff to remember the "Drinking Man's Diet" should know you get mixed results on it. Years ago, when I tried it, I lost 15 pounds and my driver's license.

Had a friend who had at least 4-5 drinks of whiskey every day of his adult life.
When he died, they cremated him, and it took two damn days to put out the fire.

My neighbor, the homebuilder, came home drunk and managed to park in the garage, but injured himself when he knocked some sample storm windows he had on a shelf. He got a few nicks on his face, so he rushed to the bathroom and did some first aid on himself.

In the morning, going into the kitchen,
his wife said "You came home drunk last nite, didn't you ?"

"Heavens no," he answered, playing the role. "I just injured myself on the job yesterday."

His wife said, "OK then, please explain all of the bandages all over the bathroom mirror."

Just remember, those of you out there who don't drink at all, when you get up in the morning, that's about as good as you're gonna feel all day long.

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