HUMOR Digest - 9 May 1997 to 10 May 1997

Date: Fri, 9 May 1997 04:23:24 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: English, the Language

Like a lot of husbands through-out history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But, as soon as he would start to say something however, his wife said, "And what's that supposed to mean ?"

Thus, Webster's dictionary was born.

An American visitor went into a small London restaurant and asked the waitress what was good. She said, "You'll like our roast. It comes with rice and rhubarb."

The visitor says, "My goodness Miss. No offense, but you sure do roll your R's."

She looked down and said, "Could be these new 'igh 'eels I 'ave on."

The other day I overheard two foreigners at the Miami airport. One was speaking in his native tongue when the other jumped in and said, "Look, we're in America now. Speak the language -- Spanish !"

I have this neighbor named Babette, and she loves to yank Yuppies' chains as much as I do. Her organization was having a big event at the Turf Valley County Club where she, as usual, was holding forth with her off-color stories, sprinkled with more than a few four letter words.

The Yuppettes were offended, so while Babette was out on the practice tee, they all agreed to walk out if she started in on just one more racy story.

After a few swings, Babette returned to the dining room and said: "Hey Girls -- did ya hear -- they're rounding up all the hookers at the Mall today at five o'clock."

At this, the Yuppettes present started to make a fast exit. Babette said, "What's your hurry girls, it's only 11:30."

I wish to submit a new definition for the term "macho":
"Jogging a minimum of five miles back home from your own vasectomy."

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