HUMOR Digest - 14 May 1997 to 15 May 1997

Date: Wed, 14 May 1997 02:25:57 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Yuppies Ride Again

Following the "American Heritage" parade in Columbia Maryland, there was a reception for all the participants. This young Yuppette went up to one of the men who had marched in full Scottish regalia and said, "Excuse my bluntness, but I've just got to know, is anything worn under your kilt ?"

"Nay, lassie," he replied with a wide grin, "It's as good as it ever was."

The PTA at one of the Columbia schools was rehearsing for a play put on by the parents for the students. The director was patiently explaining to this one Yuppie the opening scene. "You've been on this desert island for 12 years. You see this beautiful blonde washed up on the shore, you rush up and take her in your arms..."

"I see," interrupted the Yuppie, "and what's my motivation ?"

A new shop opened in the Columbia Mall. It had no sign on either the door or window. About the closest thing to any identification was a large clock in the window.

This Yuppie shopper stopped in and inquired about a new battery for his watch and the clerk said that he was sorry, but they didn't perform any watch repairs at all.

The Yuppie said, "Well, what's the significance of that clock you have in your window ?"

The clerk smiled and said, "This is a clinic for the Howard County Hospital, all we do here is prostate and hemorrhoid exams. What would you have us put in the window ?"

His last will and testament completed, the old gentleman was slowly dying. He assured his son that all his wealth and property would soon pass to him.

The Yuppie son weeping said "Dad ! Dad ! I can't tell you how very grateful I am. Is there anything, anything at all I can do ?"

The old man looked him straight in the eye and said, "Well, you could remove your foot from my oxygen hose for starters."

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