HUMOR Digest - 15 May 1997 to 16 May 1997

Date: Thu, 15 May 1997 03:14:18 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Men and Women Relate

My Grandfather was one of the wisest men I ever knew. I still remember his only advice to me concerning women. "Jimmy," he said, "Trust me on this one, even if you do eventually understand women, you'll never believe it anyway."

Did ya ever notice though that no one has ever asked a man how in the world he combines marriage, family and a career ?

And who sez life is fair ? I once griped to a girl in the Office, named Sharon, who was forever "man bashing" that women have PMS. I asked "What do men have ?"

Without even breaking stride, she replied "ESPN."

It's said that big, strong, muscular guys make docile husbands.
Well, for that matter, so do big, strong, muscular women.
They have a way of making almost any guy docile.

I had a friend who married this girl who was determined to "reform" him. In no time at all, she had him stopped from smoking, drinking and staying out all hours. She introduced him to the finer things of life, like art and music. She taught him to dress well and to master the rules of etiquette. She got him a top, well paying job.

One morning he took a look around and decided she wasn't good enuff for him and left her.

Through the years there have been all kinds of fad diets and methods to lose weight and firm the body. My wife was into this thing one time where the woman wrapped herself completely in Saran wrap.

I came home one nite and saw her laying on the couch, all wrapped up, and said "Oh no ! 'Leftovers' again ?"

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