HUMOR Digest - 17 May 1997 to 18 May 1997

Date: Sat, 17 May 1997 02:25:58 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Justice System

It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the Yuppette accused of incredible escapades. Testifying before her own attorney, she projected an image of sweet innocence, and told a tale of wifely fidelity and sacrifice, and was quite believable.

When it was time for cross-examination though, the husband's lawyer said, "Isn't it true on the nite of June 12th, in a driving rainstorm, you had sexual intercourse with a certain circus midget on the handle bars of a careening motorcycle that passed thru Columbia at speeds in excess of seventy-five miles per hour ?"

The Yuppette turned pale, but retained her remarkable self-control and composure. Her voice was almost serene in its innocence as she asked, "What was that date again ?"

A lawyer is an expert on justice in much the same way your average hooker is an expert on love.

A Judge in Columbia had impanelled the jury of Yuppies & Yuppettes to hear a controversial case. The testimony is given and the jury retires.

Two days go by and nothing is heard. Finally, the Judge sends in the Bailiff to see if they were close to a verdict.

The Bailiff returns and sez "I'm sorry your Honor. They're still working on their nominating speeches for foreman."

I had gotten word that this sexual harassment case I was involved in was going to be dropped. Excited, I called my lawyer and said, "Hey Vernon, justice has been done !"

There was a slight pause and then he said, "Don't worry about a thing Jimmy, leave it to me, we'll appeal at once !"

I understand in Baltimore City they're going to speed up the criminal justice system. They're going to have a special Express Court for all the people with six crimes or less.

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