HUMOR Digest - 22 May 1997 to 23 May 1997

Date: Thu, 22 May 1997 02:22:58 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Keeping The Faith

I wish to submit for your approval a new definition for the word "morality". From what I see, it's that instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave.

Several members of the Christian Right had approached a 90-year-old in order for him to sign a testimonial that his longevity was due to clean living. The old gentleman was in the process of reviewing the document, when sounds of a riotous party came from an adjacent room.

"Oh my Lord," said the one of the visitors, "Whatever is all that noise and laughing ?"

"I'm sorry," replied the embarrassed man, "Pay no attention. That's just Dad getting drunk with the girls from the topless casino again."

A visiting Bishop had addressed the Columbia BusinessMan's Club and the event was covered by the press. After his speech, he asked that the reporters omit any reference to his stories, since he wanted to repeat them that nite at the Chamber of Commerce meeting.

The "Columbia Flier" duly mentioned the event, and closed with: "and he told a number of stories that cannot be published."

Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said, "What do you think about all this devil business we studied today ?"

The other boy replied thoughtfully, "Well you know how Santa Claus turned out. This is probably just your Dad too."

At the fashionable church in Columbia, after a week of hot weather, the air conditioning failed to perform for the Sunday service. The Pastor assured the worshipers that there would be an abbreviated sermon.

True to his word, he stood up, looked around at the sweating faces saying:
"If you think it's hot here -- just wait !" & sat down.

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