HUMOR Digest - 23 May 1997 to 24 May 1997

Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 02:23:20 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Fairer Sex

All this physical fitness stuff has even invaded what used to be called "girl talk". I overheard two young ladies at lunch the other day discussing their previous weekend dates.

"It was heavenly," said the first. "He was a long distance runner, he tried to lap me at the halfway point, but then he still had plenty of kick left, and we finished in a dead heat."

"You were lucky," replied the second, "Mine was a sprinter and he was in the shower before I even got out of the blocks."

The headmistress of a girls' boarding school was abruptly awakened one nite by one of her students.

"Miz Forbes, Miz Forbes," she cried, "I've done a very foolish thing and let my boyfriend 'go all the way'."

"Now be calm, Melissa," the headmistress told her firmly. "The first thing you must do is go to the kitchen and eat a half a lemon."

"Half a lemon ?" asked the surprised student. "And that will keep me from getting pregnant ?"

"Actually no, dear," admitted the headmistress, "but at least, it will get rid of that silly grin."

The two well dressed coeds were strolling along the avenue one nite when they noticed what seemed to be two Ivy League students following.

"Aren't they out after hours ?" one observed, as she looked for a second time at the well dressed young men.

"I certainly hope so." replied the other.

During a sudden and prolonged cold spell in North Dakota this past winter, a really stacked blonde stopped in to see her former Chemistry Professor.

"Professor, I wonder if you could tell me... er... well... that is...
I mean the exact temperature at which silicone freezes ?"

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