HUMOR Digest - 30 May 1997 to 31 May 1997

Date: Fri, 30 May 1997 03:56:58 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex all Over

"And just was the extent of the defendant's amorous involvement ?" asked the attorney during the paternity suit trial.

"Well, from what I could tell," replied the shapely plaintiff, "I'd say 4 or 5 inches maybe, tops."

"Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."

"Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."

The Yuppie was visiting Tokyo for the first time, and knew none of the language. Following the age old tradition, he asked the bell-hop to get him a "girl" for the night.

Unfortunately, the girl knew no English. He felt pretty proud of his prowess as the girl kept exclaiming, in a loud voice, "Nachigai ana !" during the sex act.

The following afternoon, he played golf with the prominent Japanese industrialist whom he was hoping to get a contract with. The Japanese man promptly scored a hole-in-one, and the American decided to try to score some points by showing he knew some of the language. He shouted "Nachigai ana !" as loud as he could.

The industrialist turned slowed around to face him, and with a frown said, "Exactly what do you mean, wrong hole ?"

The teenaged couple was following a local tradition. After having made love for the first time, he was carving their initials in an old Oak tree near-by. He paused and looked at her and said, "You know, it's times like these I wish your name was something other than Virginia Davis."

The sweet young thang was being pressured by her date for sex in the local lover's lane. She said, "First of all, I'm not that kind of girl. Also, Momma sez I shouldn't. And, the grass is all wet. Plus, there's too many people around. Then too, it's late and I should be getting home. Besides, all you did was buy dinner anyway."

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