HUMOR Digest - 31 May 1997 to 1 Jun 1997

Date: Sat, 31 May 1997 04:04:11 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Maryland State Highway

Prior to my retirement from the Maryland State Highway, a serious, full-fledged "downsizing" was in progress. Everyone was having to do more with less. I got a mis-directed phone call one day for a fellow named Mr. Sexhauer.

Thinking maybe he was in the Office of Traffic, I dialed & asked the girl who answered if they had a Sexhauer over there.

She laughed and replied, "Are you kidding, a sex hour ??? We don't even have scheduled coffee breaks any more."

To show ya how bad things got, I arrived one morning and my boss told me "John's sick today. Take over his crisis."

And we had more consultants running around seeing which positions and functions could be eliminated. One day this fellow asked me, "What exactly do you do ?"

I replied, "Why nothing at all, I'm retiring in October."

He went to the next office and asked a young lady named Rene what she did. Hearing my exchange, she replied, "I don't do anything either, I'm getting married in November."

The consultant smiled and said, " Ah HA ! Duplication !"

And the cutbacks didn't stop with people either. An official policy for the State Highway was issued regarding mowing.

It read (in part) "In general, vegetative areas shall be mowed to a maximum height consistent with their use. Mowing schedules shall be strictly regulated by the amount of growth."

(Imagine that, huh ?)

A Senior Manager, defending his letting a project "slip" (be delayed), because of Staff reductions, said that there will be no delay, merely a "regression time-wise."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page