HUMOR Digest - 18 Jun 1997 to 19 Jun 1997

Date: Wed, 18 Jun 1997 03:55:01 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Gentle Sex

Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over "So... out looking for a little, huh ?"

She smiled sweetly and said, "No, I had 6 years of that with you. I'm out looking for a LOT !"

Things weren't going too well for the husband business-wise and he got his wife an imitation tennis bracelet, instead of the real one she wanted for their anniversary. "I hope you understand sweetheart, but you can pretend it's real."

"Fine !" she said pouting, "And tonite in bed, you can pretend I'm there under you."

It wasn't until their second date that the girl realized the man she was with was a braggart. They were doubling with another couple for dinner, and the man said to her: "Instead of dessert, how about we just go to my place, and I'll slip ya nine inches."

"Hmmmmm." responded the girl. "I hadn't realized that you could get it up three times in a row."

"When I realized that I couldn't satisfy my wife's insatiable sex appetite," the man said to his drinking buddy, "I bought her quite an assortment of every sex toy made, thinking that would keep her faithful."

"Did it work ?" asked the friend.

"Well, kinda..." the man replied. "But now, every time I do feel like a little, I find myself 3rd or 4th in line."

My wife and I were in bed, when she suddenly said, "Don't you think it's time Joel (our daughter's boyfriend) went home ?"

I told her, "Awwww come on honey, don't ya remember what it was like when we were dating ? Give the kid a break."

There was total silence for like 5 seconds, then she leaped out of bed and shouted, "I'm throwing that little S.o.B. out of the house NOW !"

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page