HUMOR Digest - 19 Jun 1997 to 20 Jun 1997

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 02:57:57 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Husbands & Wives

Leaving the poker party late, as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife." the first complained. "I turn off the car's engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."

"You got the wrong technique my friend." his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on her ass and say 'How about a little ?' She always pretends to be asleep."

Although he'd had more than enuff to drink, the wife agreed to a role playing sexual fantasy. The husband requested student-teacher. He started it off by rubbing her stomach and saying "Teacher, may I ?"

Smelling his breath, the wife responded, "Arnold, in this particular case you should ask 'can I ?'."

In spite of her husband's successful sex-organ transplant, the wife still complained about the failure of their marriage. "Before the operation, he couldn't make love to anybody." she told the counselor, "Now he has sex with everyone but me !"

"Now that's strange." replied the counselor. "Did he explain why ?"

"Yes." she fumed. "He now claims he can't stand the thought of me committing adultery."

A week after their marriage, the newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor. "I can't figure it out Doc, my testicles are turning blue."

The doctor examined him and confirmed the unusual condition. He asked the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm I prescribed ?"

"Yes." she replied.

"And what kind of jelly are you using ?" the doctor then asked.

"Grape." she said.

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