HUMOR Digest - 27 Jun 1997 to 28 Jun 1997

Date: Fri, 27 Jun 1997 03:58:52 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: (Dis)Order in the Court

A Yuppette was being questioned on the stand by the opposing attorney about an accident she was involved in: "And what gear were you in when the impact took place ?"

"Well, let's see." she replied. "I think it was my two piece gray suit with matching shoes."

Willie Johnson, a sawed-off, broken-down little man was arraigned in a Texas District Court on a felony charge.

The clerk intoned: "The State of Texas versus Willie Johnson."

Before the clerk could go any further, Willie, eyes wide, broke-up the entire courtroom: "Lawd Gawd !!! What a majority."

It doesn't happen often but I suspect a personal friend of the Judge was about to testify in a trial.

The Judge instructed the Bailiff to: "Let the witness state her age, after which she may be sworn."

The prisoner was on trial for auto theft. The prosecuting attorney read the indictment slowly, then asked, "Are you guilty or not guilty ?"

The culprit looked the man straight in the eye and replied, "Well, ain't that exactly the thing we come here to find out ?"

In Dallas Texas, an Assistant District Attorney was questioning a witness. The man was co-operating, but he kept addressing his answers directly to the Assistant District Attorney. "Speak to the jury." said the Assistant D.A.

The witness smiled, touched an imaginary hat in the traditional Texan manner, and said "Oh. I'm sorry. Howdy y'all."

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