HUMOR Digest - 10 Jul 1997 to 11 Jul 1997

Date: Thu, 10 Jul 1997 03:21:24 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Female Logic

Woman shopper trying on outfit to saleslady: "It looks too much like something I could afford."

A telemarketer was taking a survey. He told the woman on the line, "I represent a number of vaseline companies and we're doing a survey of the many uses of vaseline in the home. Would you mind taking a few moments and telling me how you use our product ?"

She said, "We use it for cuts, dry skin, chapped lips and sex."

The marketer undaunted pushed on, "Uh, would you mind explaining how you use it for sex ?"

She sez, "Simple. I put it on the door-knob -- it keeps the kids out of the room."

Woman getting estimate for auto repairs to mechanic: "Well, what would it cost without parts and labor ?"

The 64 year old man is propositioned by a Lady of the Evening. He laughs and sez "Look. I've got a 23 year old nympo waiting for me at home. What could you possibly offer me that she couldn't ?"

The experienced street walker smiled smugly and said "Patience."

Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk:
"Now we're getting somewhere.
That's the exact opposite of what I'm looking for."

The department store salesman had almost completed his pitch to the woman to convince her to buy one of those miniature washing machines.

She paused and considered it, while watching it in action. Finally, she said, "Sir. I want my clothes agitated -- not just irked."

  Return to JimJr's Postings Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page