HUMOR Digest - 11 Jul 1997 to 12 Jul 1997

Date: Fri, 11 Jul 1997 03:52:34 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Wives

"George is the same as ever." gossiped the wife on the telephone. "All he ever thinks about all day long is sex... sex... sex."

"Now that's just not true at all." called the husband, relaxing in his recliner. "For the past half-hour, I've been laying here thinking about you."

"I got married," said the first tavern regular, "so that I could get laid three or four times a week."

"That's funny." said another patron. "That's why I got divorced."

It was at a cocktail party and the guy was getting nowhere with a really stunning blonde. Finally, he consulted the host - a buddy - about the situation and the latter thought a bit, then said, "Look let me mix her up one of my special Zombies. It'll get her so stiff that she'll go to bed with ya just like your wife."

"Hell no, Ray." reacted the guy. "I don't want her THAT stiff."

According to my wife, if it were somehow possible to arrange for men and women to give birth to children alternately, there would only be three people in every family in the world.

Florence and Emily, two pretty Yuppettes arranged to have lunch together following their recent marriages. When they met, Emily could see that something serious was bothering her friend.

"Come on, out with it. What's depressing you Florence ?"

"I'm really ashamed to admit it," said Florence, "but I caught my husband making love."

"Why let a little thing like that bother ya ?" laughed Emily. "I got mine the same way."

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