HUMOR Digest - 12 Jul 1997 to 13 Jul 1997

Date: Sat, 12 Jul 1997 03:56:06 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: How's that Again ?

Maybe the guy in the bar needed a brick wall to fall on him or something, because it was obvious to everyone but him the girl he was hitting on just wasn't interested -- at all !!!

Finally, totally frustrated, she said loudly, "Look, if you don't get outta here and leave me alone, I'll find someone who can."

And then there's Bunny. God, I wish y'all could meet Bunny. We all know what she means when she comes up with her off-the-wall stuff, but this one's a classic: "I may be wrong, but I'm not far from it."

The Administrator of the Maryland State Highway was addressing a group gathered to celebrate a retirement at a dinner.

He looked at those present and said (ever so sincere), "Before I start speaking tonite, I'd like to say something."

Vehicle accidents involving State-owned vehicles in Maryland require paperwork up the wazoo. One fellow stated in his summary: "The State owned vehicle I was operating sustained no damage what-so-ever; the other vehicle, somewhat less."

My wife and I are quietly watching the evening news. She turned to me and said, "It seems to me that the majority of American people now belong to some minority group or other."

Finally, thank God for small favors. The Federal Aviation Agency's rules for takeoffs and landings of all jet-powered aircraft include this sentence: "The takeoff distance shall not be greater than the length of the runway." (Damn good thing, huh ?)

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