HUMOR Digest - 20 Jul 1997 to 21 Jul 1997

Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 03:24:38 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Sex Affects

A sex-survey pollster telephoned one of the volunteer couples. "I'm afraid there's a discrepancy in the data supplied by you and your husband." he explained. "Under frequency of intercourse, he listed 'twice weekly' while you put down 'a number of times each nite' during most of the week."

"That's correct," confirmed the woman, "but it's only a temporary situation -- just until we have the down payment for a house."

"I've taken so many showers to fight temptation," the Priest told his superior, "that now every time it rains, I get an erection."

A small and exceptionally homely man had just started putting on his underwear when his daughter opened the door & entered the room.

"Mommy !' she cried, pointing to her father's disproportionately ample endowment. "What's that ???"

"Well, sweetheart," said the woman, "that's your Daddy's secret attraction. If it weren't for that, you wouldn't be here, nor for that matter (she added ruminatively) would I."

Then there was the female CIA agent who was given the task of keeping tabs on a suspected terrorist and was summarily dismissed.

It seems she blew her assignment.

The old gentlemen was aging more rapidly than he wanted.

"Your gout is getting worse." said the doctor. "I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking and sex for a while."

"WHAT !" said the man, "Just so's I can walk a little better ???"

Orthopedists report the appearance of a new occupational disease; at present limited to "massage parlors" -- penis elbow.

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