HUMOR Digest - 21 Jul 1997 to 22 Jul 1997

Date: Mon, 21 Jul 1997 04:01:25 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Best Left Unsaid

An inebriated chap was brought before the local Judge. "You are charged with habitual drunkenness." the magistrate thundered. "Have you anything to offer in your defense ?"

Came the slurred reply, "Habitual thirst, your Honor."

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem." the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

"Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar ?" the suspicious wife sneered.

"No, I can't." the husband replied. "I distinctly remember taking my shirt off."

"I'd like to buy some gloves for my girlfriend," the young man told the perky little salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."

"Will this help ?" said the girl, and placed both of her hands in his.

"Oh yes. Good idea. Yes, I'd say you're about the same size."

"Will there be anything else, sir ?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I think I'll also get her some fancy panties and a bra."

The IRC NetSex session was going really hot and heavy, but for some reason the one partner stopping typing. Thinking she was disconnected, the man typed: "Are you still there ?"

The reply appeared back on his screen: "Wait a minute, my Mommy just came into the room."

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