HUMOR Digest - 31 Jul 1997 to 1 Aug 1997

Date: Thu, 31 Jul 1997 03:28:29 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Are You TOO Fat ?

These days with Anorexia. Bulimia, fad diets and obsession with one's
weight, I thought posting a guide as to whether you really are fat or
not would serve as a great public service.

You're way too FAT if:

* you're walking in the parking lot & cars won't pass ya on the right

* in school you WERE the front row of the class picture

* you ask someone to put sunscreen on ya & they get a paint roller

* all the local "all you can eat" places have banned you permanently

* you sit at a bar and don't have to drink to have a hangover

* you lull yourself to sleep trying to get up out of a rocking chair

* you're taller laying down than you are standing up

* you donate clothes to charity & they use them as homeless shelters

* the only thing in your size at a department store is the elevator

* you're voted Miss North AND South Dakota

* your bike is equipped with truck tires

* at a seance you don't have a medium -- you have an extra extra large

* your bathing suit is covered with blow-out patches

* the only thing long and flowing you look good in is a river

* your kids can wear your wrist watch as a belt

Mrs. JimJr asked me if I wasn't afraid of offending by posting this.
I told her "Nah !!! Those really fat people can't catch me anyway."

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