HUMOR Digest - 3 Sep 1997 to 4 Sep 1997

Date: Wed, 3 Sep 1997 03:58:31 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Husbands

"Of course I'm not losing interest in our lovemaking dearest." said the husband to his wife. "I'm simply making love slowly so the ashes don't fall off my cigarette onto the sheets."

"And will there be anything else, sir ?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two.

"No thank you." the gentleman replied. "That will be all."

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked.

"Yeah ! That's a good idea." the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."

Staggering in from their tenth anniversary dinner, the besotted husband collapsed in a chair and let out a stentorian belch.

"That's it George ! I've had it this time. " his wife screamed. "I'm cutting you off forever."

"That's impossible," he replied, "you don't even know where I'm getting it."

The husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please dear, I need help." she said.

The husband ran off saying "I'll go get some help."

A little while later he returned, picked up his club and began to line up his shot on the green.

His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, "I'm may be dying and you're putting ?"

"Don't worry dear. I found a doctor on the second hole who said he come and help."

"The second hole ??? When in the hell is he coming ???"

"Hey ! I told ya not to worry." he said, practice stroking his putt. "Everyone's already agreed to let him play through."

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