HUMOR Digest - 10 Sep 1997 to 11 Sep 1997

Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 03:02:02 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Not the Brightest

"Hello ?" the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, "Hello ?"

"I'll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn." the male voice whispered.

"Scheesch ! You're good." she replied. "You mean you can tell all that from two hellos ?"

A devout Catholic woman was running late to Church, slipped and fell, skinning her elbows and knees, and splitting her skirt. Dazed and confused, she glanced up a saw a man staring at her from the Church steps.

"Are you OK ?" he asked.

"Yes, but is Mass out ?" she asked.

"No ma'am," he replied, "but your hat is on crooked."

While driving along the back roads to avoid the police, since they were overweight, the two truckers came upon a bridge with a sign that said "Clearance 11'6". They knew their rig was slightly over 12 feet so they stopped.

"What do you think ?" one asked the other.

"Oh hell, let's go for it." said the other. "There's not a cop in sight anywhere."

The Office of Permits in the Maryland State Highway Administration got their first woman boss. An after hours party was held in her honor and everyone had had quite a bit to drink.

"Barbara," said one of her employees, "boss or no boss, I don't care. I still wantta get into your pants."

"Lennie," she slurred back, "if you do, and I ever hear about it, you're fired !"

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