HUMOR Digest - 12 Sep 1997 to 13 Sep 1997

Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 03:56:49 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: The Money Market

An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned an elderly woman client who had purchased her first stock -- one hundred shares of Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he had just heard they were going to split.

"Oh ! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear that. And, they've been together for so long too."

Before the days of check encoding, everything was done manually. Being a "Junior" at the same bank with my Father often caused some interesting mix-ups.

Since my Father used his account for business, he would deposit the checks from his customers. One time, a rather large check bounced and they deducted it from my account.

A quik phone call to the manager promised prompt action. Well, what they did was deduct it again, leaving me quite over-drawn.

I called again to straighten it out, but before I could explain, the person at the bank said, "Mr Moore, we would appreciate it very much if you would revert to the old system of you banking with us."

Yuppette leaving withdrawal window at a bank to friend: "That's what I love about banks. They never ask you what you're going to do with all the money you withdraw."

Standing in line at a bank, I couldn't help but wonder if the fellow I overheard requesting a loan had any luck. His request for a loan was to "tied me over until my credit cards are no longer maxed out."

Bank President to employees: "And when Mr. Bigget's son begins work here tomorrow, he'll have no special privileges or authority. I want you to treat him as you would anyone who was due to take over full ownership of this bank from his Father in a year or two."

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